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Fresh off the New York Times reporting the thing that's kinda been staring us all in the face if we've been paying attention, that the FBI started an investigation into whether Donald Trump is a literal actual Russian intelligence asset just after he fired James Comey and days before Robert Mueller was appointed, the Washington Post adds another detail to the story, that Trump does everything he can to hide his conversations with Vladimir Putin, on the rare occasions they get to have a conjugal visit. We've always assumed that was the case, because when Trump isn't sneaking under the table to chit-chat with Vladimir at one summit, he's behind closed doors with Vladimir with nobody else present but the translator at another, but it's still jarring when the reporting bears out exactly what we've suspected.


President Trump has gone to extraordinary lengths to conceal details of his conversations with Russian President Vladi­mir Putin, including on at least one occasion taking possession of the notes of his own interpreter and instructing the linguist not to discuss what had transpired with other administration officials, current and former U.S. officials said.

You'd think "current and former U.S. officials" might have mentioned this before, right? Oh well, they're saying it now, we guess.

So this is all fine and normal, and it's not just that Trump doesn't want the American people to know what he's doing with Putin, he doesn't want members of his own administration to know. Clearly the kind of behavior we expect from leaders of the free world who aren't incognito (or completely cognito) Russian intelligence assets.

As a result, U.S. officials said there is no detailed record, even in classified files, of Trump's face-to-face interactions with the Russian leader at five locations over the past two years. Such a gap would be unusual in any presidency, let alone one that Russia sought to install through what U.S. intelligence agencies have described as an unprecedented campaign of election interference.

In other words, it'd be weird if Trump was doing this with the king of Spain, but it's super weird when it's a hostile foreign leader who literally ratfucked the American election in favor of the guy who's only president because of that ratfucking. (Yeah, yeah, and because Hillary Clinton can't find her ass with both hands and a map of the Rust Belt states, we get it Glenn Greenwald.)

The Washington Post quotes officials and Trump allies who say it's not as bad as it sounds, because Trump has had a super sore ass about all the times his calls and meetings with foreign officials have leaked and shown up in the newspaper. Like, for instance, one time he told Russian officials in the Oval Office how awesome it was that he had just fired the "nutjob" FBI director, because now maybe they'll cool their jets with this whole Trump-Russia shit! And then he gave them some super secret classified information procured by Israel. And GOSHDARNIT, somebody leaked it!

Trump says this is all fake news, because he always says that when people report things he and Putin don't want anybody to know. He also says he's VERY INSULTED that the New York Times reported that the FBI has investigated whether he is a literal actual Russian intelligence asset. Indeed, he's insulted that people are even asking the question! (A simple "yes" or "no" would have sufficed, Mister "President.")

But like we said, we kinda knew about Trump concealing his Putin love notes already! Last year, after Trump got Kinky In Helsinki with Putin, meeting with the Russian president behind closed doors for TWO HOURS with nobody but an interpreter present, Democrats in Congress tried to call the interpreter in for questioning, but obviously #TeamTreason in the GOP wouldn't sign off on it. Now that Democrats have power ...

The interpreter for that meeting was a woman named Marina Gross. Apparently she came out of the meeting with "pages of notes." We don't know who the interpreter was when Trump met with Putin in Hamburg at the G-20, but that person's only statement about what they heard in that meeting was that Trump said "I believe you" when Putin said he hadn't ratfucked the election for Trump in 2016. Rex Tillerson was there for that one, though. Maybe subpoena him, Adam Schiff?

So here we are! Folks, this is the worst case scenario. We now know the FBI was just as concerned as we were that the president of the United States is hopelessly compromised by a hostile foreign power, and that our lying eyes haven't actually been lying to us. We now know the investigations into Russian meddling in the 2016 election and into collusion/conspiracy between the Trump campaign and Russia and into Trump's obstruction of justice are all the same investigation. The Times played cute in its story the other day, saying they're just not sure if the inquiry into whether Trump is actually working for the Russians is still ongoing, but unless we are crazy (possible), it seems that OF COURSE it's ongoing. It's called the Robert Mueller investigation. We can't be sure, but we wouldn't be surprised if the existence of an investigation into Trump as a literal Russian agent might have been a significant part of the impetus for Rod Rosenstein appointing Mueller in the first place.

Examples of Trump bending over backward for Russian interests are absolutely everywhere. Now the Post is adding one more to the pile, reporting that when Trump talks to Putin -- whom we've jokingly referred to as Trump's "handler," LOL we weren't actually kidding -- he does everything he can to make sure we don't know what they talked about.

This is reality. And every second that motherfucker is still in office, that reality gets worse. God bless America, indeed.

[Washington Post]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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