Trump Idiot Kellyanne Conway Wants More Debates, Because Donald Trump Is So Good At Them
Good try, Kellyanne Conway.
Time to check in with Trump campaign manager Kellyanne Conway and see if she's utterly lost her marbles yet. Friday, she told us how shocked she is that Hillary Clinton's not doing EVEN BETTER, what with how the media is #rigged and Donald Trump sucks. Then this weekend, she actually admitted that Trump is way behind in the polls, so it's good to hear she's still somewhat tethered to reality. We feel for Kellyanne Conway here at Wonkette, sort of, as she has a completely impossible job.
Conway had another really bright idea this weekend, too, just magnificent, for how to turn this ship around for Donald Trump. She wants MORE DEBATES:
"We had some positive movements in some of the swing states and I think some of the polls will tighten ... because the debates are a very unique opportunity for all of America to see these candidates side by side, and I wish there were more debates frankly," Conway said on a New York City radio show. [...]
"I think Donald Trump would challenge Hillary Clinton to another debate for a very simple reason," she said. "Unless you are a money donor, you are not going to have much access to Hillary Clinton out on the stump now. So, to give people a free opportunity to see them side by side and have them really mix it up on the issues to me is the purest form of democracy."
Wait, in what alternate reality have the debates been GOOD for Donald Trump? Despite what Trump believes, all actual polls have shown that Hillz beat him in ALL THE DEBATES, KATIE. He's physically incapable of doing real debate prep. He sniffs constantly, he stalks Hillary around the stage, and she gets so far under his skin that he mutters things like "such a nasty woman!" at her, which helps him out with lady voters NOT VERY MUCH.
He repeatedly says NOBODY in the whole wide world respects women more than he does, which makes literally the whole world laugh at him. Hell, at this point it's difficult to distinguish between Trump's actual debate performances and Alec Baldwin's spot-on portrayals of him on "Saturday Night Live."
In the third debate, the only one where Trump tried to focus on issues, he said these words with his mouth:
So we’re now fighting for Mosul. That we had. All she had to do was stay there, now we’re going in to get it. But you know who the big winner in Mosul is going to be after we eventually get it -- and the only reason they did it is because she's running for office of president and they want to look tough. They want to look good. He violated the red line in the sand, and he made so many mistakes. He made all mistakes. That's why we have the great Migration, but she wanted to look good for the election. So they’re going in.
But who is going to get Mosul really? We'll take Mosul eventually. By the way, if you look at what's happening, much tougher than they thought. Much, much tougher. Much more dangerous, going to be more deaths than they thought. But the leaders that we wanted to get are all gone because they're smart. They say what do we need this for. So Mosul is going to be a wonderful thing, and Iran should write us a letter of thank you. Just like the really stupid, the stupidest deal of all time, a deal that's going to give Iran absolutely nuclear weapons. Iran should write us yet another letter saying thank you very much because Iran, as I said many years ago, Iran is taking over Iraq. Something they've wanted to do forever, but we've made it so easy for them. So we're now going to take Mosul and you know who is going to be the beneficiary? Iran. Boy are they making, they are outsmarting… Look you're not there. You might be involved in that decision, but you were there when you took everybody out of Mosul and out of Iraq. You shouldn't have been in Iraq, but you did vote for it. You shouldn't have been in Iraq, but once you were in Iraq, you should have never left the way -- the point is the big winner is going to be Iran.
PALIN SAY WHAT? Is that quote a good example of Trump "mixing it up on the issues" with Hillary?
So again, does Kellyanne Conway really think there should be MORE DEBATES? Does she believe that would make things better for Trump? Or is she, for her own psychological reasons obviously, just trying to accelerate loser Trump's sad, weak nosedive into Losertown? For her own sanity, we hope it's the second thing.
Oh, ALSO TOO, nobody wants to watch another fucking debate and anybody who suggests such an awful thing is a total dick, the end.
Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.
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