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Our future, we guess.


Oh, the things you miss when you forget to read National Review the week before Christmas. (Nothing, you miss nothing.) But Jonathan Chait at New York Magazine noticed a fun (stupid) column there written by "voodoo economist" and noted CNBC idiot Larry Kudlow, about (not kidding) how it's pretty awesome that Donald Trump's transition team and his appointments are all insanely rich people, because rich people are LITERALLY INCAPABLE of stealing. Why would they? Surely you have never heard of a rich person doing corruption or anything like that?

Why shouldn’t the president surround himself with successful people? Wealthy folks have no need to steal or engage in corruption. Their business success demonstrates that they know how to achieve goals and convince skeptics that good deals can be made to the benefit of both sides. Isn’t this just what America needs?

OH BOY! No financial scandals involving rich people stealing or frauding are coming to our mind yet, so we bet he's right! (ENRON KEATING FIVE VLADIMIR PUTIN BEAR STEARNS A.I.G. GOOD GOD THE ENTIRE FINANCIAL CRISIS OBAMA INHERITED LEHMAN BROTHERS BERNIE MADOFF GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!)

Nope, still got nothin'.

(DONALD TRUMP'S ENTIRE FUCKING CAREER?)

Did we mention that, as Chait points out, Kudlow is "the reported leading candidate to head the administration’s Council of Economic Advisors"? Hmmm, maybe he is choosing his words carefully, so as to make himself more appealing to the goons he wants to work for, much like a peacock shaking his tail feathers to let the ladies know he is DTF like right now.

Because look how his column begins:

President-elect Donald Trump’s transition continues to go smoothly. Better than smoothly. Confidently. More than confidently. Transcendently.

Oh Christ, Larry Kudlow done just orgasmed all over William F. Buckley's National Review, can K-Lo or Jonah Goldberg or one of the other NRO idiots go to the break room and get some wet wipes before it causes a permanent stain?

Anyway, Kudlow is very excited that the fruits of Obama's economy have caused the Dow to rise nine points since the election, which can obviously be attributed to Donald Trump, because Trump is our new God King and did we mention Larry Kudlow really wants that job in the Trump administration?

Jonathan Chait reminds us, again, what sorts of appointees we are talking about, literal foxes who will literally be guarding their respective hen houses:

The Labor Department will be run by a man whose interest in the field is dominated by a mania for cheap labor; the Environmental Protection Agency will be run by a virtual pass-through for fossil-fuel interests. Trump’s government will make policy by and for the rich and well-connected. As Politico reports, “the extent to which donors are stocking Trump’s administration is unparalleled in modern presidential history.” As Kudlow makes clear, Trumpism regards the fear that government might favor capital over labor or some other public interest as inherently nonsensical.

Because rich people are good and worthy and pure and never would do anything bad, unlike the poor black people who caused all the ALL-CAPS SCANDALS we listed above, or whatever it is conservatives believe in their syphilitic idiot brains. And if the Trump administration just happens to become a Putin-style kleptocracy that enriches the Trump family and all their buddies while screwing the American people and the economy, well, the American people probably deserve it, because they are lazy, unlike Trump's troupe of Wonderful, Angelic Rich People.

Aren't you glad we decided to catch up on our National Review? We had been playing hooky for FAR TOO LONG.

[National Review / New York Magazine]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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