Donald Trump is expected to unveil his son-in-law's beautiful new plan to remake legal immigration in a speech this afternoon. The "merit based" immigration proposal isn't expected to actually get passed by Congress, but is more of a thing Republicans can point to and say, "See? We are common Elizabeth Warrens!" But Jared worked very hard on it, with lots of help from that nice Stephen Miller, and Trump told Jared he loves it. So it's a very good, very serious plan that Rs can rally around and accuse Democrats of refusing to support, which is the only thing that matters. And that is what counts for serious governance these days.

The plan's broad outlines have been a known known for a while; the goal would be to shift toward favoring immigration by people who would supposedly bring economic benefit to the US, away from the current system, which emphasizes family connections to people who have already come here. It would award prospective immigrants points "based on age, English proficiency, offer of employment and education levels," and would also require a background check and health screening.

Most beautiful of all, the new system would include a very special test to make sure new immigrants sufficiently love America, a criterion that White House aides told the Washington Post is all about "patriotic assimilation." That brilliant idea would

favor immigrants who had shown an active interest in incorporating the nation's culture and way of life. One administration official offered an example in which green-card applicants would be required to pass an exam based on a reading of George Washington's farewell address or Thomas Jefferson's letter to the Danbury Baptist Association.

Extra points would presumably be awarded to applicants who explain the Constitution does not allow Congress or anyone else to investigate a president who knows he's done nothing wrong.

And because it was formulated by dipshits, the plan completely leaves out any resolution to the issue of Dreamer kids -- those whose parents came to the US without documentation when the kids were very young. You might think a serious immigration plan would resolve the status of people covered by DACA, the Obama program Trump tried to abolish, but nah, Jared explained in a briefing Tuesday that Poppa Trump didn't ask him to include that, and instead wanted him to focus on ideas that "bring people together." And since some Republicans at least say they want to help Dreamers, while others really enjoy calling them "illegal immigrants" who need to be deported for their crime of crossing the border as babies, that's not the sort of togetherness Republicans can embrace.

And since the Kushner plan doesn't change the overall number of legal immigrants, it's unlikely the most hardline opponents of immigration would even be on board. Perhaps Miller assumed the Patriotism Test would ensure a higher number of Europeans would be admitted.

There is other stuff in the "plan," like modernizing technology at ports of entry and changing US asylum law to make it officially harder for people to seek refuge from violence in their home countries, but again, it's very important to note that there are almost zero chances of any of this becoming law. Chuck Schumer said the administration has "not even talked to Democrats" about the proposal, and there's virtually no chance a single Democrat might support it (Joe Manchin, you just shut up now). Lindsey Graham, pushing a very serious proposal of his own, said Wednesday the White House plan is "not designed to become law." And the Post points out that, "No senator has stepped forward yet to turn Kushner's plan into legislation."

Still, the White House spin machine is already at work telling the media that Donald Trump is 100 percent behind Jared's plan for peace in the Middle East remaking immigration:

"I don't think I've ever seen the president so positive" about a policy proposal, one senior administration official said. Another added that "people from every corner of the caucus seemed to embrace this."

Based on that level of artificial enthusiasm, we should expect Trump to talk it up for at least today, then return to fantasizing about letting US troops at the border start opening fire on immigrants.

Oh, yes, and how's this for some "patriotic assimilation"? WaPo reports that, on the day he's rolling out this great new "plan" to completely change legal immigration, Trump will be headed to New York City for a fundraiser -- but he'll be steering clear of one big ol' patriotic landmark:

White House officials declined an invitation for the president to take part in the grand opening of a museum at the Statue of Liberty — an event expected to attract dignitaries to commemorate the landmark, dedicated nearly 133 years ago, that has long been an icon of the United States' openness to immigrants.

Never let it be said that the Trump White House isn't at least sometimes dimly aware of possible bad optics.

[WaPo / NBC News / WaPo]

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Arkansas Republican Senator and evil Pinocchio turned into a real live boy Tom Cotton appeared on CBS's "Face the Nation" to discuss the attacks on oil tankers on the Gulf of Oman. And while the world is still trying to confirm IF Iran perpetrated the attacks due to conflicting accounts (the US says it was Iran with mines; the Japanese shipping operator says it was a “flying object"), that hasn't stopped GOP politicians like Cotton from trying to turn this into the justification they've been looking for, for great good glorious WAR.

MARGARET BRENNAN: You have long been defined as a hawk on Iran. You see these recent attacks, these are commercial vessels not military installations. What kind of response is warranted?

: Well Iran for 40 years has engaged in this kind of attacks going back to the 1980s. In fact Ronald Reagan had to reflag a lot of vessels going through the Persian Gulf and ultimately take military action against Iran in 1988. These unprovoked attacks on commercial shipping warrant a retaliatory military strike.

: Are you- you're comparing the tanker war in the '80s to now and saying that that's the kind of military response you want to see?

COTTON: We can make a military wreck- response in a time and in a manner of our choosing. But yes, unprovoked attacks on commercial shipping warrant a retaliatory military strike against the Islamic Republic of Iran.

The goddamn “Tanker Wars"?! Oh ... you mean when, during the Iraq-Iran War, we waited until Kuwait formally asked for our assistance to escort Saddam Hussein's oil? When Reagan, without approval from Congress, reflagged Kuwaiti vessels? When Reagan got us involved in the Iraq-Iran War leading to a daylong naval battle between Iran and the US, known as Operation Praying Mantis? The conflict we jumped into that led to our mistaking an Iran Air commercial jetliner for an Iranian F-14, shooting it down and killing all 290 people onboard, including 66 children? That's what you want to repeat, Tom Cotton?! Also, whatever happened to our ally, Saddam Hussein?

They say that those who don't learn from history repeat it. Tom Cotton is here to prove Republicans never learn. Watch the video below for yourself:

Cotton says "unprovoked attacks to oil profits" from Iran "warrant a retaliatory military strike"

While Tom Cotton was justifying a war with Iran on CBS, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo was having a surprisingly harder time on “Fox News Sunday" than he did on CBS when he transparently insinuated what the Trump administration really cares about with Iran ( "Texas Tea").

Pompeo: Trump doesn't war with Iran but will "defend American OIL interests"

Seems Pompeo was upset that his “beating the drums of war" shtick was being interrupted to have to answer about Trump admitting (more like bragging) it was okay to take foreign assistance (and then walking it back when all the killjoys said it was illegal). After playing the ABC News clip, Chris Wallace asked a very pointed yet direct question. Pompeo's answer, however, was far from both:

WALLACE: Is accepting oppo research from a foreign government right or wrong?

POMPEO: Chris, you know you asked me not to call any of your questions today ridiculous ... You came really close right there. (awkward giggle) President Trump has been very clear. He ... he clarified his remarks later. He ... he made it very clear. Even in his first comment. He said "I'd do both." He said he'd call the FBI ...

WALLACE: He said "Maybe I'd do both."

POMPEO: President Trump has been very clear. That he will always make sure that he gets it right for the American people and I'm confident he'll do that here as well.

It was at this moment Pompeo thought he was golden because he's on Fox News and they never follow up! But clearly he forgot Chris Wallace doesn't play like that.

WALLACE: At the risk of getting your ire, the President told "Fox and Friends" on Friday, and I agree, he kind of walked it back...

POMPEO: He didn't walk it back.

: Yes, he did. Because he said "maybe" on Thursday. And then on Friday, on "Fox and Friends," he said "he'd listen first AND then if the information was bad that he would take it to the FBI or the Attorney General." But he also made it clear to George Stephanopolous that he did not see this as "foreign interference." And I want to play a clip of the President's own words ...

Then Wallace played ANOTHER clip of Trump's idiotic words back to Pompeo. Then he asks Pompeo one more time:

WALLACE: He says "it's not interference, it's information." The country, sir, and I don't need to tell you, has a long history dating back to George Washington in saying that foreign interference in our elections is unacceptable. POMPEO: Chris, President Trump believes that too. I have nothing further to add. I came on to talk about foreign policy and I think that's the third time you've asked me about a Washington ... piece of ... silliness. That's just, that's just a story that's inconsistent with what I've seen from President Trump do every single day.

After an awkward pause and visible anger in Pompeo's face (really, do watch), Chris Wallace calls it a day ... but remembers to remind Pompeo he's a thin-skinned baby:

WALLACE: I will leave it there. I think I only asked you twice but that's alright Mr. Secretary. Thank you. Thanks for your time and Happy Father's Day, sir.

Watch the video below for yourself.

And that's all for this week in Trump's collusion and "wag the dog"/Saudi oil interest war chants. So let's end with a couple of pictures of my new puppy, Harley Quinn!

Might as well have one last nice thing before our next war or stolen election. Have a week!

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