How many live investigations are there of the Trump inauguration fuckery funtimes? Couple few!

  1. Manhattan US Attorney's Office, aka SDNY: They got the ball rolling after seizing Michael Cohen's tapes and finding a recording of the head party planner worrying about the Trump Hotels gouging on the room rentals;
  2. Brooklyn US Attorney's Office, aka EDNY: These guys are wondering if illegal foreign donors used strawmen to funnel cash to the inauguration. More on that in a hot second;
  3. Special Counsel's Office: Having already indicted and gotten a plea from Manafort's associate Sam Patten for acting as a straw purchaser to buy inauguration tickets for Ukrainian billionaire Pavel Fuchs, Mr. Mueller would like to know why there were so many other shady Ukrainians at the inauguration festivities;
  4. House Judiciary Committee: Chairman Nadler has questions for the Inaugural Committee, Tom Barrack, Rick Gates, and Michael Cohen about the inauguration;
  5. New Jersey Attorney General: Gurbir Grewal is making Trump's people an offer they can't refuse to hand over financial documents; and
  6. DC Attorney General: Karl Racine would like an accounting of money paid by the inaugural committee to Trump hotels and the Trump Organization.

No pressure Brian Frosh and Mark Herring!

For any of these investigators looking into foreign entities using straw purchasers to illegally donate money to the Trump inaugural gravy train, The Guardian is here to help:

The Guardian has identified the creators of three obscure firms that contributed money to Trump's inaugural committee, which collected a record $107m as he entered the White House in 2017.

The three companies each gave $25,000 to Trump's inaugural fund. At least one of the contributions was made for a foreign national who appears ineligible to make political donations in the US.

You mean Trump's billionaire BFF Tom Barrack, who ran the inauguration out of his offices at Colony Capital while developing plans to monetize his connection to Trump for his international businesses, allowed foreign donors to intrude on the sacred domestic ritual of showering cash on the incoming president? And Paul Manafort's buddy Laurance Gay, who was still collecting $35,000 a month from the Trump electoral PAC while he ran ticketing for the inauguration, was less than fastidious about vetting donors? Shit, next you'll tell us that pro-wrasslin' is FIXED!

The Guardian confirms that at least one foreign national, Indian real estate magnate Cyrus Vandrevala, contributed $25,000 to the campaign and then attended inaugural events.

Vandrevala, 46, has an Indian passport and declares his nationality as Indian, according to business records obtained from authorities in Delhi. A source familiar with his arrangements said he did not hold US citizenship or a "green card".

The contribution appears to have paid for two VIP tickets to Trump's inauguration. He and his wife, Priya, attended the event in Washington and also enjoyed a "private breakfast" with Trump, according to an article in the UK's Asian Lite newspaper, which was written by a veteran Indian reporter who knows the Vandrevalas.

Another British-Asian newspaper, Eastern Eye, reported Vandrevala was "friendly with Trump's daughter Ivanka".

Mr. and Mrs. Vandrevala's tickets were purchased by Sierra Vista, a Delaware LLC that shares a mailing address in Wayne, Pennsylvania, with their US investment firm Intrepid Capital Partners. So obviously, this whole thing is an honest mistake!

Similarly, Taiwanese lobbyist David Sean lives in Southern California, but happened to contribute $25,000 to the Trump inauguration through a recently incorporated LLC in Georgia. Sean claims to be a US citizen, who contributed out of the goodness of his own big heart. However his wife told Guardian reporters a slightly different story, suggesting that her husband may not be the ultimate source of the donated funds.

But Sean's wife, Joann, said in a brief telephone interview in late January that Sean created Jan Castle for three Chinese investors. Sean later denied his wife had said this. The company's original filing to Georgia identified someone named Jianning He as its "organizer", but gave only the same mailbox address as contact information.

Happy coincidence, Sean's daughter got a White House internship the following year. But Sean has a very good explanation for everything. And it is:

My company objective is to take back stolen trillion dollar from communist China and put into manufacturing sector in United States. And I will work hard to achieve this mission objective til the day I am perished from the earth.

Case closed!

The final case flagged by The Guardian involves an Israeli real estate developer, Elon Lebouvich, who claims to have a green card, making him eligible to contribute. Mr. Lebouvich, who "has served as a representative for a family of wealthy Moroccan investors in US legal disputes," declined to say whom he attended the inaugural festivities with, and failed to explain why he made the donation through a shell company.


Well, Robert Mueller will get to the bottom of all this. Or Jerry Nadler. Or SDNY. Have at it fellas!

[The Guardian / ProPublica]

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Five Dollar Feminist

Your FDF lives in Baltimore under an assumed identity as an upstanding member of the PTA. Shhh, don't tell anyone she makes swears on the internet!

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Hooray, it's time for yet another dispatch from Fox News's big fun week of failure. (No, we mean even more failure than usual.) While all of Twitter is being annoying and talking incessantly about nothing but Bran and Daenerys and Carl and Peg or whoever they are, we have been (ignoring it and) focusing on all Fox's sadness, starting with Pete Buttigieg's town hall, where he called Fox News a piece of shit to its face. Then we laughed and laughed at Fox News idiot Pete Hegseth, who is sending lots of begging to today's college graduates, that they might immediately get dropped on their heads and forget all their education, so they might grow up to be the Fox News viewers of the future.

Oh, and we haven't even had a chance to LOL at the epic hilarity of Steve Doocy trying to do man-on-the-street interviews in Midtown Manhattan, shoving the mic into the faces of New Yorkers who literally don't care if he goes and plays in traffic. That was fun!

But the point of this post is that we have finally learned what makes at least some Fox News viewers tick, and it is that Tucker Carlson "laughs like a girl." That is not us saying that, that is a Fox News fan lady telling the Washington Post's Erik Wemple why she loves Tucker Carlson so much.

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Old White Guys Try To Explain Abortion

Throwing the baby out with the bathwater. It's your Sunday show rundown!


Michael is out, so I'm taking over your Sunday Show Rundown. This week everyone was talking about those awful abortion laws worming their way through state legislatures. As usual, most of the men were tripping on their dicks while trying to talk about vag. Luckily, there's enough women around to ladysplain things.

Bernie Sanders went on Meet the Press for the first time in FOREVER and played his greatest hits for all the kids. Sanders criticized Joe Biden's environmental policy (which is literally just "beat Trump"), stating that it wasn't "good enough." Sanders is right! (NO FIGHTING.)

SANDERS: Beating Trump is not good enough. You have to beat the fossil fuel industry, you have to take on all the forces of the status quo who do not want to move this country to energy efficiency and sustainable energy.

But then Chuck Todd asked Bernie a loaded question about women getting "sex-selective" abortions and the whole interview went off the rails. Bernie struggled to answer the dumbass question and came across looking stupid despite having spent the better part of the last week in Alabama railing against abortion bans.

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