Trump Judge Nom/Horror Novelist Brett Talley Was A Ghosthunter, And Dammit We're Starting To Like Him (But Not That Much)
Did you really want another picture of that goober's moonface? He's the doofus Alabaman Trump wants to make a federal judge even though he's never tried a case or filed a motion. The one who forgot to mention that he's married to a lady who works in the White House Counsel's office and mightcould have the goods on Trumpland for obstructing justice in the Mueller investigation. He's the one who advocates armed insurrection if the government tries to limit assault weapons. OH, FINE. He's this chucklehead.
You can read all about his wild adventures at Chernobyl on his personal blog. The guy does have interesting hobbies! Aside from being a horror novelist, Talley is probably the only judicial nominee who ever included membership in The Tuscaloosa Paranormal Research Group on his Senate Conflict Questionnaire.
(But what kind of gun nut only belonged to the NRA since 2016? Tsk tsk!)
I love old, abandoned buildings. Factories, insane asylums, that sort of thing. I am always trying to get people to go with me, but no one ever does. You have to watch out or you’ll get arrested for trespassing.
Which is fine. You do you, dude!
He also spends a lot of time shooting the shit on the TideFans.com message forums. BuzzFeed reports that Talley posted there 16,381 times since 2005. Which is also fine, whatever. Except that he made significant statements about public policy issues and failed to disclose them in his Senate disclosure.
For instance, after the Sandy Hook shooting, Talley told his fellow sports fans,
My solution would be to stop being a society of pansies and man up. We shouldn't depend on the government to protect us. We should be ready to protect ourselves. Everyone should know that part of their social responsibility is to learn how to use a firearm effectively and carry one with them at all times. I know some of you will freak out at that suggestion, but the only law I can imagine that would have stopped what happened in Connecticut is if every one of the teachers was armed with a gun and trained in how to use it.
Does the nominee actually believe that there should be no bar to carrying a gun in a preschool classroom? Fine. It's a free country, and you're entitled to believe any crazy shit you like. But you have to disclose it if you comment on it in a public forum, and you want to be a federal judge.
Talley, whose handle is BamianBoston, also had some surprisingly nuanced thoughts on immigration.
As for those people who are already here, yes, they violated the law. Great. That tells us nothing. The debate is how to punish that violation of the law. Go ahead. Punish them. Fine them. Whatever. Then give them a path to citizenship. The last thing we want here is a permanent underclass of people. And the thought of the police breaking down the doors of otherwise law abiding citizens and dragging them out to be deported is horrible and un-American. The crime most of these people committed is wanting a better life.
Brett, you've been spending too much time with those Massachusetts liberals! Next you'll be wanting to get gay married and go vegan! Oh, but we are to kid.
The thing about Talley is that he's not an evil villain like Kellyanne Conway. He's not a superlawyer, or a wonk, or even just a regular bureaucrat. He's a dilettante, who dabbles in writing ("Now if I spend all afternoon watching movies but I write at the same time, I feel like I am being productive!"), spent a couple of years in politics, practiced law for a few years, and devotes himself to his hobbies. Which is all well and good, but it doesn't add up to a federal judgeship. Future judges do not risk their careers breaking into abandoned buildings looking for ghosts! They keep their noses clean, spend years practicing law, and don't make incendiary comments in sports chatrooms. Or at least they used to before the country was taken over by a bunch of egomaniac amateurs!
Talley may be a smart, interesting guy. But he's nowhere near qualified to be a federal judge. And the fact that he sucked up to Luther Strange and Richard Shelby -- and the White House owes his wife a big favor if she testified to Mueller the right way -- doesn't change that.
HE HASN'T EARNED IT. He wants a big steaming helping of white guy affirmative action, and he can't even be bothered to practice law for a few years for appearance's sake. The party of racial grievance and personal responsibility cares so little for competence that they can't even put up a guy who checks the basic boxes. And the fact that Republicans would vote him right on through shows you how little they care about good government as long as they can win.
So forget the fiddle! White Dude Welfare is the Devil's Own Instrument. Show up at the polls, and VOTE THESE USELESS HACKS OUT!
Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.