Trump Might Send 100,000 National Guard Troops To Round Up Illegal Mexicans. Totally Normal.

Father forgive them.

Hey, all you "nice" Trump supporters, the "not racist" ones who think everything will be OK because you've lived through lots of presidencies, and besides, you're dumb and figured Trump wouldn't really do lots of the stuff he said on the campaign trail, and you had to vote for him because what were you going to do, vote for Hitlery The Liar Criminal Emails Benghazi Whitewater Clinton Body Count? How you doin' today? Everything running smoothly in "I'm A White Republican, Things ALWAYS Turn Out Okay For ME" land?

Here's a story, about a memo drafted by the Trump administration and authored by Homeland Security chief John Kelly (maybe), who is supposedly one of the "saner" members of the regime:

The Trump administration is considering a proposal to mobilize as many as 100,000 National Guard troops to round up unauthorized immigrants, including millions living nowhere near the Mexico border, according to a draft memo obtained by The Associated Press.

The 11-page document calls for the unprecedented militarization of immigration enforcement as far north as Portland, Oregon, and as far east as New Orleans, Louisiana.

Hey, know who ELSE used the military to round up people a lot? HITLER LITERALLY DID THAT. And it was for "deportation," too! Of course, sometimes those rounded up went to slave labor camps or concentration camps or were just murdered. Can't imagine a nice boy like Donald Trump would ever authorize something like that! Just kidding, yes we can, because he's a racist, vindictive weak man's idea of a strong man, and we're sure the pimply fuckstain known as President Steve Bannon is absolutely jizzing his crusty knickers at the idea.

Tell us more, Associated Press, because this story has broken our brain:

Governors in the 11 states would have a choice whether to have their guard troops participate, according to the memo, written by U.S. Homeland Security Secretary John Kelly, a retired four-star Marine general.

Hi, #Resistance. Know where you're peacefully protesting if this happens? Sounds like governors' mansions and state houses! Have fun, governors of all the border states and also Oregon, Nevada, Utah, Colorado, Oklahoma, Arkansas and Louisiana! There are some people who would like to share with you a piece of their mind.

Tell us even more, AP, because !!!!!!!!!!!!!:

...[T]he draft memo says participating troops would be authorized "to perform the functions of an immigration officer in relation to the investigation, apprehension and detention of aliens in the United States." It describes how the troops would be activated under a revived state-federal partnership program, and states that personnel would be authorized to conduct searches and identify and arrest any unauthorized immigrants. [...]

If implemented, the impact could be significant. Nearly one-half of the 11.1 million people residing in the U.S. without authorization live in the 11 states, according to Pew Research Center estimates based on 2014 Census data.

Use of National Guard troops would greatly increase the number of immigrants targeted in one of Trump's executive orders last month, which expanded the definition of who could be considered a criminal and therefore a potential target for deportation. That order also allows immigration agents to prioritize removing anyone who has "committed acts that constitute a chargeable criminal offense."

Cool. Totally normal. For what it's worth, Melissa McCarthy impersonator Sean Spicer tweeted that this is FAKE NEWS, so guess we shouldn't worry, because Spicey is right 100% of the time:

WHEW! False alarm, we guess! Unless it's not. Of course, it's just a "memo," so maybe it won't happen. Or maybe the Trump regime leaked this out there to scare the shit out of some immigrants, and to outrage people, so whatever other vicious plan they have, whatever their real goal is, looks nice and reasonable in comparison.

But we have to do something, don't we? Because Mexico is sending its worst rapists, some of whom Trump assumes are very nice people, right? There are MILLIONS OF THOUSANDS OF THEM, and the problem is just THAT BAD, is that correct? One more time, AP:

Trump's immigration strategy emerges as detentions at the nation's southern border are down significantly from levels seen in the late 1990s and early 2000s. Last year, the arrest tally was the fifth-lowest since 1972.


Remember that beautiful and sad post Dok wrote yesterday, about refugees fleeing the United States for Canada, which is now the ACTUAL land of the free and home of the brave, whereas Trump's America is the land of the scared white pussies and the home of Trump supporters pooping their pants when they see brown people? Go read it, white Christian Republicans, and ask yourself if Jesus would be OK with this.

SPOILER ALERT, no He wouldn't, and also fuck you.

Wonkette is entirely reader-supported, which means we don't have shitty ads to eat your browser. If you liked this post, drop us a couple bucks, why don't ya?


Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc