Oh Sad, Looks Like Susan Collins Gonna Get Impeached (By Voters)

Susan Collins sold her soul to Donald Trump and instead of shiny pieces of silver, all she got in return were sinking poll numbers and a primary challenge. According to the latest results from Public Policy Polling, Collins is less popular in Maine than the letter "R." Only 35 percent of voters approve of her job performance, and 50 percent prefer she defend accused sex offenders on her own time. She's gone from leading a generic Democrat by six points in September to losing to a generic Democrat by three points. That's troubling because A Generic Democrat is a fairly nondescript candidate.

Suzy Creamcheese's usual campaign strategy is to keep her head down, pose as a "moderate," and get re-elected to do whatever Mitch McConnell tells her. But the House impeachment inquiry against Trump makes this difficult. Fifty-three percent of Mainers support impeachment. Hillary Clinton carried the state in 2016, and Collins needs crossover support to survive. After her vote to confirm Brett Kavanaugh, Collins was losing Clinton voters 76 - 12. If Collins opposes impeachment, those numbers drop to an even more hilarious 83 - 8, and A Generic Democrat whoops her 47 - 40.

Collins has tried to avoid making any definite statement on impeachment, because definite statements can prove embarrassing when she eventually folds. The problem for the lady who cried "moderate" is no one is dumb enough to fall for her "careful consideration" scam again. Kavanaugh was the final banana in our tailpipes.

It's absurd for a sitting senator to claim to have no opinion of the president's ongoing crime time. She's not a potential "juror" in a Trump trial. No one in the Senate is. Lindsey Graham especially would never survive voir dire. Actual jurors in normal trials don't attend lunches with PowerPoint presentations detailing strategies for acquitting the defendant.

Unfortunately for Collins, she can't just dump Trump even if someone loaned her a conscience. Her support among Maine Republicans is soft and squishy like her spine. Trump is personally more popular with GOP primary voters. He boasts 80 percent approval to Collins's 53 percent. She loses badly in hypothetical matchups against failed gubernatorial candidate Shawn Moody and successful gubernatorial wackjob Paul LePage. And if she supports impeachment, her approval within the party plummets to just 35 percent. Manhattan clam chowder could beat her in a primary.

Republicans anticipate a Thanksgiving impeachment trial, where this time the Senate pardons the turkey. Collins would have to finally go on record. More serious primary challengers would likely emerge if she votes to remove Trump, and if she falls in line behind McConnell, the last veneer of her self-proclaimed "integrity and independence" vanishes completely.

Susan Collins: I believe Brett Kavanaughwww.youtube.com

If it seems like I'm enjoying the senator's predicament, that's only because I am. Here's why I dislike Susan Collins and want to see her cry on election night: She got up on the Senate floor and gave a self-serving speech defending her right to choose Kavanaugh. She accused protestors of bullying her when they were just advocating for their own bodily autonomy. She even grossly claimed in interviews that Christine Blasey Ford hallucinated her own sexual assault or at least can't remember who attacked her.

Susan Collins is a fraud and a disgrace. Rod Serling couldn't craft a better ending for her career. We still need to flip that Maine seat, so go donate to Sara Gideon here.

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. Once, he wrote a novel called “Mahogany Slade,” which you should read or at least buy. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."


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