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The New York Times, for all its post-Jill-Abramson fuckery, has a pleasure of a story for us today, and it includes charming anecdotes about


  • Trump aides holding meetings in the dark because how many Trumpers does it take to flip a light switch?
  • At 6:30 p.m. each night, "President" Trump goes upstairs alone and roams the empty hallways like poor mad Miss Havisham.
  • He actually thought the first two weeks of his presidency went well.

See what we mean about charm and delight and ROTFL LOLOLOLOLOL? But oh, there is more.

Until the past few days, Mr. Trump was telling his friends and advisers that he believed the opening stages of his presidency were going well. “Did you hear that, this guy thinks it’s been terrible!” Mr. Trump said mockingly to other aides when one dissenting view was voiced last week during a West Wing meeting.

But his opinion has begun to change with a relentless parade of bad headlines.

Not to mention the relentless parade of actual paraders, at the White House and at Trump Tower and at the airports and at Mar a Lago ...

Ah, but here is the best part, besides the catty-bitch aside about how President Can't Read was perfectly content to look at pictures of window treatments for the Oval Office for hours:

[F]or the moment, Mr. Bannon remains the president’s dominant adviser, despite Mr. Trump’s anger that he was not fully briefed on details of the executive order he signed giving his chief strategist a seat on the National Security Council, a greater source of frustration to the president than the fallout from the travel ban.

Wait, what was that? Let's rewind.

Mr. Bannon remains the president’s dominant adviser, despite Mr. Trump’s anger that he was not fully briefed on details of the executive order he signed giving his chief strategist a seat on the National Security Council

And there we have the answer to the question nobody was asking because we already knew: Poor President Figurehead is a sad shell of a man being led around by the nose by that rash that fucked a gin blossom, Steve Bannon.

And also, he can't read.

[NYT]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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Is there ANY good news for the bumblefucking Trump re-election campaign these days? Their polling numbers are in the shitter, therefore Trump is firing the pollsters. Trump's Hitler rally kickoff event in Florida last night was ... whatever it was. Oh, and did we mention that they ain't got no money? Like, of course, not counting whatever Russian money they're not telling us about.

Don Jr. recently called a prominent donor and warned that Trump's money haul is falling behind where Barack Obama was early in his reelection, while Jared Kushner has privately complained to RNC chairwoman Ronna Romney McDaniel that Trump's war chest is not as big as it should be at this point in the cycle.

Whiiiiiiiiiine. Guess they're gonna have to see if they can launder some rubles somewhere, ALLEGEDLY.

Gabe Sherman has some more bad news about Trump's shithole campaign, and it is that Robert and Rebekah Mercer, the father-daughter billionaire duo who bankrolled much of Trump's "victory" in 2016 -- including funding Breitbart, and also the part of the "victory" that comprised Cambridge Analytica, the data company they owned that may have done some real hinky stuff, possibly with Russia, in order to get Trump "elected" -- have zipped up their checkbooks and decided Trump can go eat dicks for all they care.

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