Time To Refresh Yourself On Trump, Stormy Daniels And The Case Of The Porn Peener Payoffs!

Don't adjust your TV sets or kick the side of your Internets to make sure you've got the right date.

The headline in the New York Timesindeed says that the Manhattan district attorney is beginning to make its case to a grand jury TODAY that Donald Trump is criminally responsible in the case of the hush money porn peener payoff to Stormy Daniels.

Yes, the ones from the 2016 election! The ones the Southern District of New York was going hard on, until suddenly they weren't anymore for some reason (Bill Barr), and for which Michael Cohen and only Michael Cohen went to prison, even though his case was literally where we learned to refer to Trump as "Individual One," because of how all the prosecuting documents said Cohen did these campaign finance crimes for and at the direction of Individual One.

Yes, it would be something wonderful and special if here in the year 2023, the Stormy Daniels case finally managed to take down Trump.

The Times reports that Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg's impaneling of this jury, and soon his presentation of witnesses, are a "clear signal" that he's getting close to a decision on whether or not to charge Trump. Indeed, today a witness was spotted, and it was David Pecker, the former National Enquirer publisher who was an important character in the stories about the payoff deals. (Please click on these links and go back and read them if you need refreshers, as we will not be typing this shit out in this particular post.)

Donald Trump Bones Own Stormy Daniels Case, Without Prophylactic

Michael Cohen And Rudy Giuliani Working Overtime On Stupid Watergate

Is Bill Barr Cockblocking The SDNY? Sure Damn Looks Like It!

Turns Out Bill Barr's Been Ratf*cking SDNY From The Jump. Yeah, Don't Faint.

Yep, Michael Cohen Is A Criminal. Sounds Like His Boss And Hope Hicks Are Too!

Let's Talk CONSPIRACY: A Peckersplainer, About Trump's National Enquirer Buddy David Pecker!

The Times says prosecutors have a bunch of other interviewees on their witness list — more folks from the National Enquirer side of that saga, folks from the Trump Organization, folks from the Trump campaign.

Remember, because of the timing and the purpose, these payoffs were tantamount to illegal contributions to Donald Trump's campaign for president, at least according to the federal indictment of Michael Cohen.

NYT has more recent history and context, and also throws some cold water at our faces just to be mean:

A conviction is not a sure thing, in part because a case could hinge on showing that Mr. Trump and his company falsified records to hide the payout from voters days before the 2016 election, a low-level felony charge that would be based on a largely untested legal theory. The case would also rely on the testimony of Michael D. Cohen, Mr. Trump’s former fixer who made the payment and who himself pleaded guilty to federal charges related to the hush money in 2018.

Still, the developments compound Mr. Trump’s mounting legal woes as he faces an array of law enforcement investigations: A district attorney in Georgia could seek to indict him for his efforts to overturn his 2020 election loss in the state, and he faces a special counsel investigation into his removal of sensitive documents from the White House.

Look, the fact that this is happening means that this is happening, nothing more, nothing less. Oh wait, we also know for sure that we were not expecting "Stormy Daniels" to be trending on Twitter today for this reason. But those are the only things we can be sure about.

It does seem like something though:

Mr. Bragg’s decision to impanel a grand jury focused on the hush money — supercharging the longest-running criminal investigation into Mr. Trump — represents a dramatic escalation in an inquiry that once appeared to have reached a dead end.

We'd say so! And hey, look how mad Trump is over all this!

We've come a long way since last year, when Bragg's prosecutors were resigning because he was being a weenus about charging Trump.

Okeydoke, read all those Wonkette links and that Times article to get yourself back up to speed on porn peener payoffs, since this is apparently information we all need to know again.


[New York Times]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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