Trump To Be Sworn In Using Very Own Childhood Bible, Crayons
He has special colors for each of the Two Corinthians
While most presidents choose to be sworn in on some fusty old historical Bible, like the Lincoln Bible (Obama) or George Washington's bible (Harding, Eisenhower, Carter, and G.W. Bush), Ronald Reagan took the oath using his family's Bible. And Donald Trump? Donald Trump will take the oath of office using the Bible he was given two days before his ninth birthday, and also the Lincoln Bible (presumably after a suitable washing). And maybe at the bottom of the stack, a copy of The Art of the Deal. We're guessing on that one. Tell us more, CBN News!
The President-elect was first given this Bible when he was eight years old, just two days shy of his ninth birthday. The date was June 12, 1955, the day he graduated Sunday Church Primary School at First Presbyterian Church in Jamaica, New York. His mother, Mary Anne, presented it to him and he’s kept it ever since. The Bible is a Revised Standard Version with his name imprinted on the front cover. The inside cover is signed by church officials with his name inscribed. Trump actually showed this exact Bible to us in one of our nine interviews with him during the course of the campaign season.
You know, the one he waved around a lot, but showed little evidence of having ever read. As you'll recall, at first he said the Bible is his favoritest book of all -- even more than Art of the Deal! -- but he couldn't name his favorite verse from the Bible, because it was too private a thing to share, and then after a while he decided his favorite Bible verse was "never bend to envy," because too many people envy him all the time, except that's not really a Bible verse at all. Then, finally, he remembered! It was Two Corinthians! Then he was on to other stuff, but he's still really big on the Bible.
You have to wonder what Bible Hillary Clinton would use. Yr Editrix is quite certain it would be Jane Addams's Settlement House Bible, because Illinois and feminism and social uplift. (Yes, Mr. D'Souza, we know, she'd have used a copy of Alinsky's Rules For Radicals. Go away.) And Rand Paul, of course, would take the oath on a copy of Atlas Shrugged.
The use of two Bibles isn't especially unprecedented, either; in 2012 for his second inauguration, Obama took the oath on the Lincoln Bible and on Martin Luther King's own bible, which was especially appropriate since the inauguration was on King's birthday, plus there's the whole personal hero thing there. In another bit of tribute to a personal hero, Mike Pence will be sworn using Ronald Reagan's Bible. Donald Trump has kind of a problem there, since we learned yesterday in his Bizarro-world interview with the Times of London and the German magazine Bild, Donald Trump Don't Need Another Hero. You really have to read the whole thing, preferably aloud, assuming there are no impressionable children or nervous cats in the room:
Heroes bad, except maybe my racist dad, and of course me. So that's why he's getting sworn in on his little-boy Bible with DONALD TRUMP embossed on the cover. Just like Art of the Deal, it's a very popular book, with his name on it, that he didn't write.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.