WHINE, WHINE, WHINE, WHINE, WHINE, WHINE, WHINE ...
It's so nice how the president of the United States goes away every weekend and gets his chill on, so he can handle another very tough week of being the most powerful person in the world. Especially on Sundays, you can just tell Donald Trump is a mentally stable, emotionally mature dude who, just like you, spends most of his R & R time unplugging and unwinding and ... um, tweeting all 100 angry English words he knows, just like he did last Sunday and the Sunday before that and the Sunday before that.
Here is our latest portrait of a brain in rapid decline:
That literally did not happen. The New Yorker has a great rundown of what actually went down in that meeting, since Sulzberger feels free to speak about it now that Trump has broken his agreement to keep the meeting off-record. SPOILER: It wasn't about how the "fake news" has now become the "enemy of the people," phrases that are only part of our national discourse because the president of the United States routinely incites his pig trough followers against the media, for the "crime" of doing their jobs.
A few minutes later, Trump started yelling "WALL! WALL! WALL!" He did this because "WALL!" is one of the words he knows:
Good plan, buddy. The next time we're up for a government shutdown is at the end of September, so if Trump thinks a government shutdown in a fully Republican-controlled government less than a month before the midterm elections is a good strategy ... well, enjoy that, GOP politicians running for Congress! Know what Americans hate? Shutdowns. Know who gets blamed for them? Whoever's in power. Know what else Americans hate? Trump's immigration policy. This is a formula for a whole lotta winning, we think!
Later Sunday afternoon, Trump fired off a thread about how the Washington Post and the New York Times suck, so that accounted for about 50 more of the English words he knows.
Which left room for:
NO COLLUSION RIGGED 13 ANGRY DEMOCRATS DOSSIER CROOKED HILLARY WITCH HUNT BAD!
Thirty-seven minutes later:
MUELLER CONFLICTS OF INTEREST WEIRDLY REFERRING TO SELF IN THIRD PERSON COMEY COMEY COMEY!
As for the actual content of this tweet: Conflicts? Nah, bro. Trump's possibly senile "lawyer" Rudy Giuliani grunted about this a lot the past 24 hours too, but Mueller has literally no conflicts of interest, which is why Giuliani couldn't actually name a conflict of interest when the TV news man asked him to. And his "business relationship" with Trump? It was a minor spat over dues at one of Trump's gaudy shithole clubs. That's it. So unless Mueller is the kind of guy who does NO COLLUSION ANGRY DEMOCRAT WITCH HUNTS over greens fees, then President Sundowner needs to LIE THE FUCK DOWN.
One more, in case you didn't hear the president's whining the first time:
And that was it! It was a good Sunday, and Donald Trump said all the words his brain still knows and then he most likely had a very nice dinner of burnt shit meat and ketchup and tried to decide which poorly tailored suits he wants to wear on his big trip to Moscow to make a new pee tape for Vladimir Putin.
Trump woke up this morning and just re-started the cycle, because have you met Donald Trump's best friend WALL? He loves WALL and WALL loves him back and Donald Trump and WALL are just best friends forever:
Good job, dude. You're definitely not being laughed at by the majority of Americans and also the entire rest of the world.
MAGA MAGA MAGA!
Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT NOW, DO IT RIGHT NOW!
- POTUS Twitter Working Overtime To Spread #FakeNews About ... ›
- Nation Aghast At Trump's Mika Tweets, Except Sarah Huckabee ... ›
- El Presidente Dipshit Tweets While Melania Makes Giggle Eyes At ... ›