One of our favorite genres of palace intrigue stories in these hellish days of Donald Trump is the kind where it's all about how he's an abjectly stupid man, but he's really mad because he knows everybody thinks he's stupid, because NUH UH! After all, how can anybody call Trump stupid when he has correctly identified which one "camel" is for the doctor and is really good at finding "nipple" on a map? How can anybody call Trump stupid when he has explained multiple times that he has one of the all-time good brains, and that he is a Stable Genius?

How can anybody call Trump stupid when his own press secretary Stephanie Grisham wraps the car of the English language around trees to say people can't handle what a genius Trump is?


The Daily Beast reports the very funny story about President Dipfuck's frustration over how everybody knows he is a Dipfuck. He is partic mad because in these days of being impeached for his Ukraine crimes, people EVEN ON HIS OWN SIDE are saying he's too stupid to pull off a quid pro quo crime with Ukraine:

[T]he president is increasingly insistent that, if he wanted to commit a crime, he wouldn't be stupid enough to get caught.

At other times, Trump has privately avowed that if he wanted to commit the crimes or outrageous actions he's accused of, he'd be smart enough to do it—and that people should stop saying he's too dumb or incompetent to do crimes.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha amazing, so glad we got up this morning.

Reportedly Trump is super GRRRR because the Wall Street Journal ran an editorial after Ambassador Bill Taylor's testimony, which argued in part that "it may turn out that while Mr. Trump wanted a quid-pro-quo policy ultimatum toward Ukraine, he was too inept to execute it," and that if you impeach Trump for being stupid, you're gonna have to impeach everybody. Of course, the Wall Street Journal editorial page is a piece of dogshit, and therefore obviously doesn't understand that Trump is not being impeached for ineptness or even for the quid pro quo, he's being impeached for HITTING UP A FOREIGN NATION TO INVESTIGATE HIS POLITICAL RIVALS IN ORDER TO HELP HIS RE-ELECTION, WHICH IS A CRIME. The existence of a quid pro quo -- and there clearly was one, according to everybody from Bill Taylor to Gordon Sondland to Mick Mulvaney -- is actually a side issue.

Anyway, that editorial set Sadsy The Clown off and put him in the bad place:

"[The president] mentioned he had seen it and then he started saying things like, 'What are they talking about, if I wanted to do quid pro quo, I would've done the damn quid pro quo,' and… then defended his intelligence and then talked about how 'perfect' the call [with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky] was," said a source familiar with Trump's reaction to the Journal editorial. [...]

"He was clearly unhappy. He did not like the word 'inept,'" the first source added.

In case you were wondering if he also says in private the idiot-ass things he says in public. He does.

Anyway, as Asawin Suebsaeng reports, Trump really really thinks this. In private, he really really thinks people need to READ THE TRANSCRIPT (here it is!), because he thinks there are no crimes in there, even though there are multiple crimes and everybody with two brain cells to rub together sees them. He thinks if he was in the mood to do some crimin', he would have come up with a brilliant plan to conceal it, like one of the bad guy criminal masterminds in a cartoon. He thinks he's great at committing his crimes and not getting caught, even though his entire presidency/life has been one big crime wave, with some getting caught.

Suebsaeng reminds us of this tweet President Halfwit sent this summer:

The president's brain is a crime scene.

[Daily Beast]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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