Trump Volunteers Must Sign Contract To Love Trump Forever
We lost Gene Wilder this week, but if there is one important lesson he taught us all, it is to always read the fine print when signing a contract. Otherwise, you end up a giant blueberry without a lifetime supply of chocolate, and that is no way to live.
Those who volunteer with the Trump campaign just may want to consider doing that themselves. You see, when you sign up to be a volunteer for the Donald Trump campaign as a Trump Red Dialer, for the privilege of calling up people you don't know and asking them to Vote Trump, you are required to sign a contract and non-disclosure agreement. A rather unusual one in which you are barred from "disparaging" Trump, his company, his family or any of their businesses for the rest of your natural life. Not only that, but you are required to prevent your employees from doing so as well.
No Disparagement. During the term of your service and at all times thereafter you hereby promise and agree not to demean or disparage publicly the Company, Mr. Trump, any Trump Company, any Family Member, or any Family Member Company or any asset any of the foregoing own, or product or service any of the foregoing offer, in each case by or in any of the Restricted Means and Contexts and to prevent your employees from doing so.
The Restricted Means and Context refers to:
(i) by any means of expression, including but not limited to verbal, written, or visual, (ii) whether or not preserved in any medium now known or hereafter discovered or invented, including but not limited to audio recording of any type, written text, drawing, photograph, film, video, or electronic device, (iii) in any manner or form, including but not limited to any book, article, memoir, diary, letter, essay, speech, interview, panel or roundtable discussion, image, drawing, cartoon, radio broadcast, television broadcast, video, movie, theatrical production, Internet website, e-mail, Twitter tweet, Facebook page, or otherwise, even if fictionalized, (iv) in any language, or (v) in any country or other jurisdiction (collectively, the "Restricted Means and Contexts")."
Basically, what this means is that, if several years down the road, you or one of your employees tweets about not finding a pair of Ivanka Trump shoes aesthetically pleasing, Donald Trump will be able to sue you for breach of contract. That is pretty serious!
This is not all that surprising though, given how much Donald Trump really hates it when people say not nice things about him. In fact, it is only surprising that this is not a Scientology-style billion year contract. Not that there are not other significant comparisons between the Trump campaign and Scientology...
Also, you could be sued if you have a company and any of your employees works for the Clinton campaign.
No Competitive Services. Until the Non-Compete Cutoff Date you promise and agree not to assist or counsel, directly or indirectly, for compensation or as a volunteer, any person that is a candidate or exploring candidacy for President of the United States other than Mr. Trump and to prevent your employees from doing so.
Former Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski signed such a contract. That's why, even though he's a paid contributor on CNN, he's not allowed to say anything negative about Trump, his company, his family or his family's companies. Former campaign Sam Nunberg recently violated the non-disclosure aspect of this agreement, by leaking info about "a public fight and romantic affair" between two Trump staffers to the New York Post. He is currently being sued for 10 million American dollars.
Now, should you break this agreement, you can be sued for damages, and forced to pay attorney's fees for the "Trump Person" you offend:
- Consent to Injunction. A breach of any of your promises or agreements under this agreement will cause the Company, Mr. Trump and each other Trump Person irreparable harm. Accordingly, to the extent permitted by law, and without waiving any other rights or remedies against you at law or in equity, you hereby consent to the entry of any order, without prior notice to you, temporarily or permanently enjoining you from violating any of the terms, covenants, agreements or provisions of this agreement on your part to be performed or observed. Such consent is intended to apply to an injunction of any breach or threatened breach.
- Agreement to Indemnify. You hereby agree to indemnify, defend (with counsel acceptable to the Trump Person you are defending) and hold harmless each Trump Person from and against any claim, demand, suit, proceeding, damages, cost, loss or expense of any kind or nature, including but not limited to reasonable attorneys’ fees and disbursements, incurred by any Trump Person as a consequence of your breach of any of your promises or agreements in this agreement.
- Damages and Other Remedies. Notwithstanding anything to the contrary, each Trump Person will be entitled to all remedies available at law and equity, including but not limited to monetary damages, in the event of your breach of this agreement. Nothing contained in this agreement will constitute a waiver of any Trump Person’s remedies at law or in equity, all of which are expressly reserved.
Oh, and "Trump Person" is a whole lot of people! It includes Donald Trump, "any member of Mr. Trump’s family, including, but not limited to, Mr. Trump’s spouse, each of Mr. Trump’s children and grandchildren and their respective spouses, including but not limited to Donald J. Trump Jr., Eric F. Trump and Ivanka M. Trump, Tiffany Trump, and Barron Trump, and their respective spouses, children and grandchildren, if any, and Mr. Trump’s siblings and their respective spouses and children, if any" and "each Trump Company (including but not limited to the Company) and each Family Member Company."
It is honestly kind of impressive that Trump supporters are that trusting of Donald Trump, that they are so sure that they will never, ever have any reason to disparage him, his family or any of his companies for the rest of their natural lives. Though I am curious about how the employee thing will work! Does this mean that people will have to fire otherwise good employees for disparaging Donald Trump, his family or any of their companies? Or that they will have to tell their employees that, as part of their job, they are not allowed to disparage any of those people or things? How would that work?
Personally, I don't really trust anyone enough to sign an actual contract saying that I will never publicly disparage them or any of their relatives, or to trust that they wouldn't hold me to that contract. Even my own parents! Or my one true love Elvis Costello! Especially if the person were someone who happens to like suing people a whole lot.
Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse