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Wonder what Trump's leaked all over this guy.


Boy oh boy, welcome to our weekly Donald Trump-created disaster! Last week it was his firing of FBI director James Comey, and this week, on the eve of Trump's first foreign trip, we've learned that the president of the United States used his LOL funtimes Oval Office meeting with Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov and Ambassador Sergey Kislyak to tell them a bunch of "code word classified" intelligence, which is even more top secret than top secret. Trump reportedly did this because -- his advisers assume -- he wanted to show Russia how cool he was, as if the Russians had never heard of intelligence gathering. Even better, the intelligence Trump shared came from one of America's allies, the sort of info we get UNDER THE EXPLICIT UNDERSTANDING that we WILL NOT share it. It was about ISIS! And Russia is ... well, Russia and ISIS and Syria is hard to explain but Russia isn't really our BFF in that war, or anywhere else for that matter! (Sorry we made so much fun of you, Mitt Romney.) Maybe ask the Vox guys, they know about that shit. Anyway congratulations, Donald Trump, you are THE FUCKING WORST AT EVERYTHING.

Monday night, Trump sent National Security Adviser H.R. McMaster out with, as the "Morning Joe" kids put it, a "non-denial denial," saying carefully that Trump didn't divulge "sources and methods" of gathering intelligence, but not saying Trump didn't share highly classified "code word level" intelligence with his pals the Russian ambassador and the Russian foreign minister, but definitely saying the story was flat-out FALSE. Tuesday morning, of course, Trump got on his Tweeter machine to say, "Look at me, I did the thing everybody says I did, because I am SO COOL!"

How does it feel under the bus Trump just threw you under, Gen. McMaster? Everything you always dreamed of?

It's funny because this is the exact same thing Trump did with firing Comey last week, when he told Sarah Huckabee Sanders to say the Comey firing had nothing to do with Russia, and then he called Sanders a liar a day or two later, by admitting to NBC's Lester Holt that he definitely fired Comey because he was having a tantrum about the Russia investigation.

As we noted Monday night, Senator Bob Corker, Republican of Tennessee, is extremely concerned, saying the Trump White House is in a "downward spiral" and that they've got to get their shit together. For his part, House Speaker Paul Ryan says he wants some "facts," but he's a craven pussy, so we're sure he's already forgotten about it.

Here's John McCain, being the opposite of a maverick:

Another elected official being just awful is Rep. Jason Chaffetz, that numbnuts we thought was taking off work this month because of emergency hoof surgery. He says this is all no biggie:

Imagine for a moment being Jason Chaffetz, whose face and whose thoughts are both so incorrect at all times. Now stop imagining that, Wonkette does not want you to hurt yourself.

As far as idiots who are not elected officials, weirdo lawyer Alan Dershowitz (!!!) is turning on Trump, saying Trump's dishing on intelligence secrets with Russia is the "most serious charge[s] ever made against an American president," and he hypothesizes that the American ally whose intelligence Trump spilled may very well be Israel. Your Wonkette thinks Dershowitz may be right, which is a very weird thing for us to type. Hey remember that time Israel and all the other intelligence agencies, both in the U.S. and abroad, got worried about letting Trump really know the good intelligence shit, because they were scared what he would do with it? Guess they weren't just being a bunch of Chicken Littles after all!

We can also report exclusively that Joe and Mika spent the morning saying "OMG!" into each other's mouths, like they do.

Over in deep wingnuttia, the "Fox and Friends" idiot couch has its finger on the pulse of the REAL problem, which is that this report got leaked in the first place, and Breitbart is having a conniption about "ZOMG DEEP STATE ZOMG!"

Of course, because Trump's mental state is approximately on the same level as Breitbart, the Daily Beast reports that Trump is also getting very angry about the the "Deep State" and "Obama-holdover actors," who all exist solely to hurt his feelings and ruin his presidency, which would be going SO WELL if they weren't being so naughty.

Oh look, Trump just confirmed the Daily Beast's report in a rage tweet:

Oh well, case closed, the leaker appears to be that dimwit Donald Trump! Unless Alex Jones and Roger Stone are right, and the real leaker was Gen. H.R. McMaster the whole time!

EARTH TO TRUMP: The leaks are coming from everywhere, even the people you trust the most. Nobody is really on your side, and they never will be. LOL!

Meanwhile, the Daily Beast reports on the general morale of the White House right now:

Communications staff and senior staffers at the White House were literally “hiding in offices,” according to a senior Trump aide, as a gaggle of White House press stormed White House hallways just after the Washington Post story broke on Monday evening.

“Do not ask me about how this looks, we all know how this looks,” the senior aide told The Daily Beast on Monday evening. [...] The aide described a scene at the White House as tense and “a morgue" ...

Buzzfeed also shares a couple of fun tweets from the scene Monday night in the West Wing:

What a passel of losers. Oh well, they will probably all be "YOU'RE FIRED!" very soon anyway, so their long national nightmare will be shortly coming to an end. Of course, they're almost as incompetent as their boss, so it's not like replacing them will improve the shitshow that is the Trump presidency.

You'll be very glad to know that Turkish dictator Recep Erdoğan will be in Washington DC today to meet with President Trump, so we're sure he'll get a fuckin' EARFUL of our very sexxxiest state secrets, so Trump can prove what a badass guy he is again.

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[The Daily Beast]

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There are perks to being the only Harvard professor willing to shill for the Bush League Mussolini. Everyone else has to haul ass to the Fox studio and sit for hair and makeup. Not Alan Dershowitz! He just parks his laptop in Pee Wee's playhouse and Skypes in that rant. Is he even wearing pants? We hope never to find out!

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Donald Trump hasn't been very busy today, because he is a lazy ass who lives in the People's House on the People's Dime and he doesn't really want to work. Also it's way funner for him to stay in the White House residence in his underpants and live-tweet his Executive Time while he ignores his wife Melon.

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