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The dipshit did it again. During one of his WAH WAH CAN'T HEAR YOU "press conferences" on the White House lawn as Marine One drowned out all sound and frightened woodland creatures, Donald Trump answered the question Reuters reporter Jeff Mason tried to get him to answer during his presser with the Finnish president on Wednesday, namely, what precisely did he want Ukrainian president Volodymyr Zelenskiy to do to the Bidens when he extorted Zelenskiy on that July 25 treason call.

This time, though, instead of having a temper tantrum, shouting out a Taxi Driver-style"You talkin' to me?" and demanding Mason ask the Finnish president a question, he just decided to confess. And this time he asked another country to go ahead and investigate the Bidens, specifically the country he pronounces with his bad mouth as 'GINA.

(Transcript via Axios, even though they spell 'GINA wrong):

TRUMP: Well I would think if they were honest about it, they'd start a major investigation into the Bidens. It's a very simple answer. They should investigate the Bidens. Because how does a company newly formed and all these companies by the way, likewise, China should start an investigation into the Bidens. Because what happened in China is just about as bad as what happened with Ukraine. So I would say that President Zelensky, if it were me, I would recommend that they start an investigation into the Bidens. Because nobody has any doubt that they weren't crooked. That was a crooked deal 100%.

Remember, Democrats: IT'S STILL AN IMPEACHABLE CRIME EVEN WHEN HE TAPES A LIVE CONFESSION ON THE WHITE HOUSE LAWN.


Anyway, what we think we hear the president saying (because he's saying it out loud) is that if the Ukrainians were honest and (subtext) if they want any more military aid for their country, nice country you have there, shame if any more "Russia" happened to it, then they will participate in his little scheme to ratfuck the election and create a counter-narrative that makes his 2016 election legitimate. What has Trump been saying about how his call with Ukraine was just "perfect" and the whistleblower is a liar and Adam Schiff is a Treason Paraphraser? Oh well, who gives a damn, he just confessed. Again.

And also too, 'GINA IF YOU'RE LISTENING!

Moments later, Trump repeated the lie that the Ukrainian prosecutor Joe Biden and the rest of the Western world wanted removed -- or more accurately that the Obama administration and the rest of the Western world wanted removed, as the former Obama officials who host "Pod Save The World" explained very clearly on this week's episode that Biden wasn't off freelancing, he was delivering the administration's message -- was the "good" prosecutor who was investigating all the crimes, when the truth is that he was the fucking corrupt prosecutor. And now that prosecutor is Skyping with Rudy Giuliani! In other words, Trump is gaslighting everyone. Again.

But back to China! You know, a while back, Hillary Clinton was on the Maddow program, and she floated a jokey hypothetical about what would happen if the Democrats decided to get in on the election ratfucking action and said 'GINA IF YOU'RE LISTENING, PLEASE HACK THE IRS AND GET TRUMP'S TAX RETURNS! She was trying to illustrate how ridiculous that would be. So of course, Trump just did that very thing.

Guess he just wanted to make sure Hillary didn't get to China first.

Putting aside how fucking unbelievable it is that Trump thinks China might be willing to do jack shit to help him after he tanked the Chinese economy with his dumbass tariff war -- China, out of all nations, is clearly just counting down until November 2020 -- we cannot stop emphasizing that YOU GUYS, THE DIPSHIT DID IT AGAIN.

He's literally whistleblowing himself, openly asking a foreign power for an investigation into one of his main 2020 political rivals while he is currently being impeached for secretly asking a foreign power for an investigation into one of his main 2020 political rivals.

And for all the dumbfuck Republicans who have been tweeting that Democrats haven't yet identified what "crime" Trump committed with Ukraine and now China, because they are too lazy/liar to look it up for themselves, former US Attorney Joyce Vance explained today exactly which crime Trump has apparently been committing all summer and just committed again this morning:

Trump made clear today, though, that he has not personally asked Chinese President Xi Jinping to investigate Biden, which might be true, or the truth might be locked in the Bin Laden Vault in the White House:

"I haven't, but it's certainly something we can start thinking about, because I'm sure that President Xi does not like being under that kind of scrutiny."

Whatever the fuck that means. The Washington Post reported last week, by the way, that Trump has talked about his Biden fantasies with Stephen Schwarzman, who is serving as his go-between with China for the trade deal he is never ever ever going to make with China. So, ya know, maybe his China thing just isn't as far along as his Ukraine thing.

The president's very good and smart and definitely-not-drunk-right-now lawyer Rudy Giuliani has weighed in on Trump's latest crime:

This is the stupidest reality TV show we have ever seen. Can we impeach the motherfucker tomorrow?

[Axios / Washington Post]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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