Trumpland Superlawyer Jenna Ellis Gonna Sue CNN For Mean Polling, You Bet!

For a guy who can't even walk down a ramp without holding a grownup's hand, Donald Trump is pretty proficient at kicking himself in the dick. So flexible! We are now a week into the Trump campaign's hissy fit over a CNN poll showing Joe Biden leading Trump by 14 points, and the pants-pissing shows no sign of abating. In the latest episode, the Trump campaign's top lawyer bragged about a poll showing her guy in a statistical dead heat in Arkansas, a state Trump won by 27 points in 2016. If Trump has lost 25 points in deep red Arkansas — and we're not saying we believe it — he'd be lucky to be only 14 percent behind in the popular vote. But go off, Trumplanders!

It started last Monday, when CNN dropped its poll with crosstabs so everyone could see the data.

"CNN Polls are as Fake as their Reporting," tweeted President Streisand Effect the same day. "Same numbers, and worse, against Crooked Hillary. The Dems would destroy America!" Which was dumb enough, but he just couldn't let it drop.

On Wednesday, Trump tweeted out a letter from infamous poll-unskewer John McLaughlin, who is still managing to get work despite an embarrassing string of whiffs that included a 44-point error in his client Eric Cantor's favor in 2014. McLaughlin's main gripe was that the CNN poll undersampled Republicans and "is a poll of 1,259 adults — not even registered voters, let alone likely voters."

Which, GODDAMMIT no it wasn't. (Forgive the crankiness, but we have been pointing this out for a week now.)

Besides which, as the pollsters at Marist explained in their Poll Hub podcast this week, you can't really poll "likely voters" in May because you don't know who's likely to vote five months before the election. (A rational criticism, like the criticism of the OANN poll that got pulled, is that they forced the leaners, which artificially depressed the undecided/protest voters to 5 percent when other polls are showing about 11 percent of voters in that bucket. But the Trumplanders aren't so into "rational.")

On Thursday, the Trump campaign's chief of lawtalkin'-'n'-letter-threatenin', Jenna Ellis, sent CNN a nastygram demanding a retraction and threatening to sue the network for defamation. How very dare they report accurately that they asked 1,125 registered voters who they'd vote for if they had to, and they chose Biden by a double-digit margin? UNLEGAL!

On Friday, CNN tweeted out its DEAR BUNKERBITCH, EAT SHIT response, and Jenna Ellis whined some more on Twitter.

Which should have been the end of it, but wasn't. Because this is 2020, and we live in hell.

Yesterday, Ellis went on CNN's Reliable Sources to shout insane shit at Brian Stelter.

ELLIS: The only reason we have to go to court and hold you accountable is because you're unwilling to have the integrity to actually say that a factually, provably false statement should never appear on the pages of any -- in any newspaper or media outlet around the country. That should be something so easy. I mean, didn't you learn that in media class, Brian? That should be something that we can all regardless of whether --

STELTER: I did learn a lot in media class.

ELLIS: Did you learn that? Or is that too complicated for you?

So, tell me about --

ELLIS: You said you know the difference between a factually false statement and an opinion statement.

STELTER: So, what have you learned in law school --

ELLIS: So, tell me, is a factually false statement okay to put out on your network?

STELTER: Yes, what did you learn in law school that makes you think this is a winning strategy?

Are you not entertained? CNN put out the transcript if you want to read the whole thing. Or you could jam an icepick in your eye, which would be less painful.

After her stunningly successful media hit, Ellis refuted CNN's polling some more by tweeting out a link to a Hill story about a Talk Business-Hendrix College poll which showed a 47-45 race in Arkansas. Arkansas! A state where 60 percent of voters pulled the lever for Trump just four years ago.

Are you wondering how a single-state poll refutes CNN's numbers showing Trump down 14 percent nationwide? Well, joke's on you! Jenna Ellis, a highly trained professional, just tweeted the wrong poll. Betcha feel pretty stupid right now!

A majority of voters expect Trump to win? That's ... not the same as saying who they plan to vote for. Like, not at all. Even Fox has Trump down eight points in the popular vote. But YOU TRIED.

And speaking of tryin' it ...

Riiiiiiight. Well, this story should be over soon, but probably isn't. The dumbest possible thing that could happen now would be for the Trump campaign to actually sue over CNN's poll, so, look for that suit to drop in 3 ... 2 ...

[CNN Transcript]

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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