Trump's Airport Auntie Anne's Pretzel Stand Summit With Irish PM Went Well
Donald Trump's excellent European adventure continues! Right now he's mostly failing to completely embarrass America during D-Day remembrance events in France, but first he had to meet with Irish Prime Minister Leo Varadkar at the airport in Shannon, Ireland. And oh what a meeting it was!
There was the part where, when a reporter asked Trump if he was only there to do a quick infomercial for his golf club in Ireland, Trump said no, he came to Ireland because of his great relationship with the UK. No, seriously.
And then there was the part when Trump said Brexit was probably going to be just great for Ireland, because here's why:
It'll all work out very well, and also for you, with your wall, your border, we have a border situation in the United States and you have one over here ...
That's right, the president of the United States opened his mouth and started riffing on BUILD THE MEXICO WALL with the prime minister of Ireland, not that the border situation with Northern Ireland has ever been a sensitive subject or that countless people died in wars over that border before it was opened up, and also not to mention the fact that Ireland is currently kind of scared that Brexit could turn that border into a "hard border" again (you know, the Mexican kind that Trump likes!), which could re-open that can of worms in a bad way.
But no big deal, Mister President, you just keep running your fucking mouth!
Please watch the whole video, as Varadkar awkwardly tries to correct Trump, and Trump responds by word salading for another 30 seconds about shit he doesn't know the first thing about. It's impressive.
The Irish leg of Trump's trip has ended, except for how it hasn't really. You see, Trump and his groupies are staying at his Doonbeg resort in Ireland for TWO nights. As in, they flew in to the airport in Shannon, Trump met with Varadkar right there at the airport, then they flew over to Doonbeg. This morning, he flew to France for D-Day stuff, after which he's flying right back to Doonbeg for another night, because that's normal.
And why is Trump doing that? As the Washington Post reports, Trump says he is doing that for "convenience," apparently either because he has never seen a map, or he assumes none of his paste-munching supporters have. (It is probably both things.)
"We're going to be staying at Doonbeg in Ireland because it's convenient and it's a great place. But it's convenient," Trump said before he left Washington.
Doonbeg! No matter where you're going, it's on the way! That would be a good slogan for the resort, probably.
And Trump needs a good slogan, because as David Fahrenthold notes in the Post, Doonbeg has never ever made a profit, and has cost Trump somewhere in the neighborhood of $41 million. To be fair, maybe Trump thought he was going to turn all that around, as originally he wanted to meet with the prime minister at Doonbeg, and maybe he thought that would make a good infomercial for his money pit. Unfortunately, the Irish government told him to fuck off with his grifting, and that is why they met at the VIP lounge at the airport, or maybe it was in front of the Auntie Anne's or the Panda Express at the airport. It was definitely one of those places.
Guess Trump decided to recoup costs some other way!
This visit has brought a large contingent of U.S. and Irish officials, as well as police and security forces, to a village of about 750 people. It was not clear how many of them, besides Trump, were staying at the Doonbeg course's 120-room hotel.
But if they wanted to stay in Doonbeg, they didn't have many other choices. TripAdvisor lists three hotels, total. Trump's hotel is rated No. 1.
Fahrenthold has all the dirty deets on Trump's history with the Doonbeg resort, which you're welcome to read if you'd like. He also notes that the location is kinda Rain-On-Your-Wedding-Day ironic, except in this case it's more like Global-Warming-On-Your-Golf-Course ironic. It's no big deal, it's just that the Trump Organization is waiting for an answer from the Irish government on whether they can build a sea wall to stop all the climate change from washing away their resort. Indeed, they literally said in the application that they needed this YOOGE sea wall to fight the erosive effects of climate change, which is pretty funny considering how just this week, Donald Trump yet again denied the existence of climate change in an interview with Piers Morgan, saying he's pretty sure climate change goes both ways.
Oh well, whatever! They should update their application with the Irish government to include the scientific fact that maybe the climate will start going away from the Doonbeg resort, rendering a sea wall completely unnecessary. Don't you think?
Also, Trump's sons Prince Dumbfuck the First and Prince Dumbfuck the Second got to go to Ireland with Daddy, just like they got to go meet the fancy Queen with Daddy. They went DRANKIN' last night, at all four pubs in Doonbeg!
The Irish Times reports that they were received pretty well, which makes sense because they're the biggest employer in the tiny village. This led the Trump spawn to reportedly bitch about how the media will never cover the good things, like the tiny village that is nice to them because they sign all their paychecks.
There are, of course, protests planned elsewhere in County Clare, where Doonbeg is located, and also in Dublin, because pretty much everybody in the world hates the Trump family.
But whatever, NOT IN DOONBEG!
Maybe the spawn and their daddy should just go live there and leave us the fuck alone, how's about that?
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