Trump’s Closing Argument In Michigan: The Squad Sucks, COVID-19 Not So Bad

Trump

We'd love to imagine this was the last weekend Donald Trump will have campaign rallies as president. However, if he loses next week, President Lame Duck will probably continue traveling the country for his COVIDchellas. He'll promote violence against his enemies and literally leave his dead-end supporters out in the cold.

In Michigan Sunday, Trump addressed issues of genuine concern to voters, such as bringing Boss Jim Gettys Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez to justice. He claimed, without evidence, that Ocasio-Cortez had stolen $2 million from her campaign and that his goons at the Department of Justice should look into it. No one's allowed to take campaign funds without the president getting his share.

TRUMP: Didn't she steal $2 million out of her campaign?

No, she didn't. She also raised more than $17 million. If he's going to lie, why not claim she stole all of it? That's what he would've done.

TRUMP: Didn't AOC steal $2 million out of her campaign?

Saying it twice doesn't make it truer.

He wondered why “they" aren't looking into Ocasio-Cortez's imaginary crimes. This is where we mention that Trump's former senior adviser and campaign CEO, Steve Bannon, was actually arrested for mail fraud. And that Trump is so often guilty of projection we can only reasonably assume he's recently withdrawn $2 million from his own campaign, allegedly, since his broke-ass operation might not have that much cash on hand.


TRUMP: Those maniacs ... AOC plus 3 ... Ilhan Omar ... ILHAN OMAR.

Yes, we get it. She's Muslim.

Trump laughed as his adoring crowd of deranged bigots booed congresswomen of color.

TRUMP: They're gonna put Ilhan Omar in charge of immigration.

There's no indication Joe Biden will place Omar in charge of his “fuck it, let them all in" immigration plan. Trump grossly othered Omar and tossed racist red meat to his drooling supporters.

Trump delivered these closing arguments in a state that's key for him, and here he is talking about freshman House members who don't even go here. Rashida Tlaib represents Michigan's 13th congressional district, but she rarely gets a shout-out on the president's diss tracks.

TRUMP: That's one of the reasons we're gonna win Minnesota, because of Ilhan Omar.

Trump isn't going to win Minnesota. He's also not running against Omar. After directly calling Omar and Ocasio-Cortez “maniacs who don't like our country," President Projection claimed, again without evidence, that Omar rigged her recent primary election.

TRUMP: Didn't she harvest? I heard she ballot harvested.

She didn't. This is debunked Project Veritas garbage.

TRUMP: So, where is our Justice Department? She ... ballot harvested! Everybody's telling me stories!

Trump acts like some old man who watches Fox News in a rocking chair two inches from the screen. He's the current president of the United States (ideally for not much longer). He should receive official reports, not racist water cooler gossip.

TRUMP: Nothing ever happens to her!

Because she's committed no crimes. Funny, that.

TRUMP: It's illegal, right?

Defamation isn't a crime, per se, but it is actionable civilly. Oh, wait, he's not referring to his own gross slander, but all the crimes he's pulled out his ass and pinned on Omar.

TRUMP: Why aren't they looking at her? If I did that, they'd be looking at me. They'd be looking at anyone here.

He's such a vile, disgusting man who wouldn't recognize the truth if it tried to pose as his wife.

There were 3,804 confirmed COVID-19 cases in Michigan just on Saturday (a 121 percent increase over two weeks). Thirty-five people died, but the president instead spent his time attacking women of color. He was an equal opportunity misogynist. He watched with delight as the crowd chanted “Lock her up" at the mention of Governor Gretchen Whitmer. He demanded Whitmer “open up" Michigan, which isn't closed, but if situations don't improve, Whitmer might need to impose another lockdown. Trump hasn't helped in any way: He holds superspreader rallies, marginalizes actual medical experts, and argues that anyone who treats the virus seriously just wants to lock us in our homes without dinner.

Trump claimed Biden “loves a lockdown" (he doesn't).

TRUMP: The Biden Lockdown will mean no school, no graduations, no weddings, no Thanksgivings, no Christmases, no Easters, no Fourth of Julys and no future.

The choice on Tuesday isn't between lockdowns and no lockdowns.Trump can't snap his fingers and make COVID-19 vanish. He can only ignore it while almost a half million Americans die before the end of his term. This is one of those deals with the devil where you're just offered a bag of wet crap for your soul. Satan's not even trying.

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle. Tickets are on sale now for his latest Nordo collaboration, "Curiouser and Curiouser," an adaptation of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." It promises to feel like an actual evening with SER (for good or for ill).

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