Trump's Dumbass Budget Proposal Totally Great, If You Want To Start World War III

Here's a video of Donald Trump crying and bitching that America sucks now because we no longer build a B-24 bomber airplane EVERY HOUR:


Mediaite's Tommy Christopher noted on Twitter on Wednesday that maybe we're not doing that because "there's not a WORLD WAR." Picky details!

Anyway, Donald Trump has released his first yooooooge budget proposal (the "America First" budget proposal!), and surprise, it's a GREAT budget, if Trump feels like pecking out the nuclear codes with his tiny fingers and starting World War III, but it's pretty shitty if you are literally anybody else in America. Instead of reading hard words, let's look at a pretty graphic from the Washington Post:

Now of course, we must understand that this is not necessarily what will ACTUALLY happen to America. Senator John McCain took time out of play-fighting with Rand Paul to note that Trump's budget is DOA in the Senate. This is more like a road map the "president" drew, detailing his dreams of slashing the hell out of nice good things like the EPA (fuck clean air and water, and also climate change is a Chinese hoax!), the State Department (fuck diplomacy, what we need is HARD DICKED MILITARY POWER), and assorted other agencies that do useless shit like help poor people and keep airplanes from smashing into each other in the sky, and redirecting that money to ratchet up our military and homeland security capabilities. These things are necessary because in Donald Trump's tiny brain, our military -- the greatest fighting force in the world -- is a total pussy, and there are imaginary hordes of Muslims coming in to destroy America, like at least one million per day. Trump must Make America Great Again by fixing these problems!

Here's what the Trump regime has to say about its tremendous budget proposal:

The blueprint was designed to "send a message to our allies and our potential adversaries that this is a strong-power administration," Office of Management and Budget Director Mick Mulvaney explained on Wednesday as he previewed the document in a briefing with reporters.

It also sends a clear message domestically: this administration is willing to make drastic, controversial cuts to fund that "strong-power" message. That includes slashing spending on foreign aid and the environment, as well as long-standing programs aimed at boosting the arts and humanities, as well as the fortunes of the most vulnerable Americans.

And all this to make the "president" feel like he has normal-sized hands.

NPR lists some of the really fun things the Trump budget would eliminate, like the Low Income Home Energy Assistance Program (LIHEAP), which keeps grandmas from freezing to death in the winter (overrated!), and the Appalachian Regional Commission, which "promotes economic development in the region stretching from northern Mississippi to western New York." Hey, Trump voters, you did a GOOD JOB for yourselves when you went to the polls, didn't you?

But no worries, for the sad sack Trump supporters! There's a $2.6 billion thingie in there to build the Mexico wall, because, as you all know, the real culprit for your "economic anxieties" is all the illegal Messican aliens who are taking all the amazing jobs you surely would have otherwise!

The Washington Post has a huge interactive thing, full of pretty pictures, that you can look through to see how Donald Trump would like to screw you personally. Here are some more fun budget cuts that jumped out at us:

  • "Unspecified" cuts to SNAP, also known as food stamps, because fuck the poors!
  • A nice $200 million cut to the Women, Infants and Children (WIC) program, what helps ladies who choose life feed the children they gave birth to, when they chose life. Helps feed the moms too!
  • What about Meals On Wheels? FUCK MEALS ON WHEELS, that's what. Go read Wonkette pal Charlie Pierce yelling about that, as it is very good.
  • Worried about rising seas and bad hurricanes? Donald Trump isn't! Let's cut $250 million from the program that researches that stuff. Also, basically, if you are a program that has anything at all to do with fake "climate change," whether you are in the State Department or NASA or the EPA, you are screwed royally.
  • A big fat $3.7 BILLION cut for "teacher training, after-school and summer programs, and aid programs to first-generation and low-income students," because can't you just put those kids in prison anyway? Pfffffft. School choice and charter schools get a hefty reach-around, though!
  • A complete elimination of the Community Block Development Grant program -- a $3 billion program! -- that works against poverty and for development (and many other things) in the "inner cities" Trump always likes to talk about saving.
  • While we're at it, let's privatize air traffic control, because the sky is so big, it's unthinkable that planes could ever run into each other.
  • And finally, the following things are GONE BABY GONE: The National Endowment for the Arts, the National Endowment for the Humanities and the Corporation for Public Broadcasting. Really. Suck it, NPR and PBS-loving libtards who "make art" and "know things."

There are many more grotesque things in this budget, and like we said, if you'd like to get into the dirty details, read the WaPo's fun feature, or just dive into the budget all by yourself.

Aren't we glad a solid minority of Americans chose Donald Trump to Make America Great Again? Mmhmm ayup you bet.


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[Washington Post / NPR / Trump's dumbass budget proposal]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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