Trump's Greatest Achievement: The Year 2020 Will Occur On His Watch

August 2020 will mark a century since women won the right to vote -- in the US -- as if they were humans and everything. Unfortunately, no matter how hard Nancy Pelosi tries, Donald Trump will most likely be president during this momentous occasion. Monday Trump signed the Women's Suffrage Centennial Commemorative Coin Act, and the super genius wondered why we waited until now to celebrate a centennial.

President Trump Participates in a Signing Ceremony for the Woman's Suffrage Centennial Coin

THE ACTUAL FUCKING PRESIDENT: I'm curious why wasn't it done a long time ago.

Because it's a centennial coin. You need 100 years to make a century. These aren't my rules. Talk to the ancient Babylonians. This was the sort of TV sitcom"idiot boss" moment that makes you almost forget the current president is an accused sexual predator who extorts desperate foreign nations. Trump said himself that the Centennial Coin Act "directs the Treasury Department to issue 400,000 $1 silver coins in a commemoration of the 100th anniversary of women securing the right to vote." The coins will honor women who would've declined to stay in the same room with Trump, such as Susan B. Anthony, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Harriet Tubman, and Ida B. Wells.

jerry seinfeld - you're not very bright, are you?

We agree that commemorative coins to celebrate 50 years or even 25 years of suffrage would've been nice. People still used coins then. But a century is what we have now, and the president needs to stop asking stupid questions. Unfortunately, Trump has a bad habit of providing his own equally stupid answers.

TRUMP: Well, I guess the answer to that is because now I'm president, and we get things done. We get a lot of things done that nobody else got done.

It's true. We had our doubts that we'd actually make it to the year 2020 with Trump as president. Let's not count our chickens just yet -- a lot can happen in a month, but it looks like he showed us! Barack Obama was president for eight whole years, and 2020 never even happened once. He must've been on "colored president's time." (I'm black. Don't try this in the comments or at home.) Trump however finally got us back on track. He might even let it be 2020 for the whole year!

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. Once, he wrote a novel called “Mahogany Slade,” which you should read or at least buy. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."


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