Trump's New Lie About Russian Treason Meeting Allows For Possibility Trump Jr. Is Massive Fuckup

Want your latest Omarosa scoop? FUCK YOU, THIS IS A SERIOUS WEBSITE.

OK fine, it is that according to her new book, Donald "Daddy" Trump was really fucking pissed last year when his idiot son Donald "Unfortunately Shaped Offspring" Trump took it upon himself to tweet out the email chain that led to his Trump Tower Russian Treason Meeting. And after Daddy had worked so hard dictating a lie statement about that meeting on Air Force One, to cover everybody's ass! Ungrateful little shit.

"He is such a f--kup," Trump said of his son, according to Manigault Newman's tell-all book, a copy of which was obtained by the Daily News. "He screwed up again, but this time, he's screwing us all, big-time!"

First of all, we need to assert that we have long thought it would be hilarious if Junior ended up being the ultimate downfall of his father's presidency, considering how Daddy has always been very disappointed in Junior.

Of course, that was the famous email chain where Junior responded to a subject line that said "Russia -- Clinton -- private and confidential," by saying, "If it's what you say, I love it, especially later in the summer." Those emails specifically said this proposed meeting was part of the Russian government's support for the Trump campaign. Yeah, if we were Donald Trump -- not that we'd ever wish to be such a thing, rather gag to death on a spoon we crammed down our own throat with our NORMAL SIZED HANDS, thanks! -- we'd have been pretty pissed at our grotesque offspring right about then too!

There have been so many lies about that Trump Tower meeting, from the very beginning. It was all about bouncy Russian babies! Wait, it was to get dirt on Hillary! It was to get bouncy dirt on Hillary's Russian babies! Which is TOTALLY NORMAL! No collusion! No collusion! But anyway, collusion is totally legal, but no collusion!

And nothing came of it!

The idea that nothing came of it is the most consistent lie about it, from everyone who got caught with their pants down with their dicks in the cookie jar at that meeting. (Assuming it's a lie, which we obviously do.)

We don't know if Omarosa's story is 100% accurate, but there is a new, very lawyered statement from Donald Trump about that meeting buried in a Washington Post article about how Donald Trump Jr. is somehow inexplicably the GOP's secret weapon for the midterms. (How does that work? "Vote for Republicans and I promise I will put a bag over my head forever!")

You will see what we mean when we say this statement is lawyered. For one thing, the words are all spelled correctly:

"Don has received notoriety for a brief meeting, that many politicians would have taken, but most importantly, and to the best of my knowledge, nothing happened after the meeting concluded," Trump said.

TO THE BEST OF HIS KNOWLEDGE. This is interesting, since we know Trump has been worried that MAYBE his fuckup son might have perhaps accidentally done a wee spot of treason in that meeting Trump claims he didn't know about beforehand but probably definitely knew about beforehand, according to Michael Cohen.

Wouldn't that seem to suggest to you that something big did come after that meeting?

There are a couple things we know happened. For one thing, Russia/WikiLeaks/DCLeaks started releasing hacked emails from the DNC throughout that summer, but especially and most prominently in July, in the days immediately prior to the Democratic National Convention. On July 27, 2016, Trump stared into a camera during a speech and said, "Russia, if you're listening," please find the missing 33,000 Hillary emails that American loser wingnuts made up in their brains and were thus obsessed with. That night, Russian intelligence tried to target Hillary's campaign directly for the first time.

We also know that on October 7, 2016, the very same day the Obama administration officially announced an ongoing Russian effort to fuck with our presidential election and Trump's infamous "grab them by the pussy" tape came out, Russia/WikiLeaks started dropping Hillary Clinton campaign chair John Podesta's hacked emails.

Roger Stone seemed to know that one was coming.

Are any of these connected with Fuckup Junior's treason meeting in Trump Tower on June 9, 2016? We just don't know. TO THE BEST OF DONALD TRUMP'S KNOWLEDGE, the answer is nyet.

Bet Robert Mueller knows the truth.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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