Want your latest Omarosa scoop? FUCK YOU, THIS IS A SERIOUS WEBSITE.

OK fine, it is that according to her new book, Donald "Daddy" Trump was really fucking pissed last year when his idiot son Donald "Unfortunately Shaped Offspring" Trump took it upon himself to tweet out the email chain that led to his Trump Tower Russian Treason Meeting. And after Daddy had worked so hard dictating a lie statement about that meeting on Air Force One, to cover everybody's ass! Ungrateful little shit.

"He is such a f--kup," Trump said of his son, according to Manigault Newman's tell-all book, a copy of which was obtained by the Daily News. "He screwed up again, but this time, he's screwing us all, big-time!"

First of all, we need to assert that we have long thought it would be hilarious if Junior ended up being the ultimate downfall of his father's presidency, considering how Daddy has always been very disappointed in Junior.

Of course, that was the famous email chain where Junior responded to a subject line that said "Russia -- Clinton -- private and confidential," by saying, "If it's what you say, I love it, especially later in the summer." Those emails specifically said this proposed meeting was part of the Russian government's support for the Trump campaign. Yeah, if we were Donald Trump -- not that we'd ever wish to be such a thing, rather gag to death on a spoon we crammed down our own throat with our NORMAL SIZED HANDS, thanks! -- we'd have been pretty pissed at our grotesque offspring right about then too!

There have been so many lies about that Trump Tower meeting, from the very beginning. It was all about bouncy Russian babies! Wait, it was to get dirt on Hillary! It was to get bouncy dirt on Hillary's Russian babies! Which is TOTALLY NORMAL! No collusion! No collusion! But anyway, collusion is totally legal, but no collusion!

And nothing came of it!

The idea that nothing came of it is the most consistent lie about it, from everyone who got caught with their pants down with their dicks in the cookie jar at that meeting. (Assuming it's a lie, which we obviously do.)

We don't know if Omarosa's story is 100% accurate, but there is a new, very lawyered statement from Donald Trump about that meeting buried in a Washington Post article about how Donald Trump Jr. is somehow inexplicably the GOP's secret weapon for the midterms. (How does that work? "Vote for Republicans and I promise I will put a bag over my head forever!")

You will see what we mean when we say this statement is lawyered. For one thing, the words are all spelled correctly:

"Don has received notoriety for a brief meeting, that many politicians would have taken, but most importantly, and to the best of my knowledge, nothing happened after the meeting concluded," Trump said.

TO THE BEST OF HIS KNOWLEDGE. This is interesting, since we know Trump has been worried that MAYBE his fuckup son might have perhaps accidentally done a wee spot of treason in that meeting Trump claims he didn't know about beforehand but probably definitely knew about beforehand, according to Michael Cohen.

Wouldn't that seem to suggest to you that something big did come after that meeting?

There are a couple things we know happened. For one thing, Russia/WikiLeaks/DCLeaks started releasing hacked emails from the DNC throughout that summer, but especially and most prominently in July, in the days immediately prior to the Democratic National Convention. On July 27, 2016, Trump stared into a camera during a speech and said, "Russia, if you're listening," please find the missing 33,000 Hillary emails that American loser wingnuts made up in their brains and were thus obsessed with. That night, Russian intelligence tried to target Hillary's campaign directly for the first time.

We also know that on October 7, 2016, the very same day the Obama administration officially announced an ongoing Russian effort to fuck with our presidential election and Trump's infamous "grab them by the pussy" tape came out, Russia/WikiLeaks started dropping Hillary Clinton campaign chair John Podesta's hacked emails.

Roger Stone seemed to know that one was coming.

Are any of these connected with Fuckup Junior's treason meeting in Trump Tower on June 9, 2016? We just don't know. TO THE BEST OF DONALD TRUMP'S KNOWLEDGE, the answer is nyet.

Bet Robert Mueller knows the truth.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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CLEAR YOUR CALENDARS FOR FEBRUARY 7! And then fill them back up with whatever the fuck you want, because Michael Cohen has announced through his lawyers that he is too scared to testify before an open session of Congress that day, citing threats to his family from Donald Trump and Rudy Giuliani.

Wonkette has no reason to believe Cohen isn't being serious here, and NBC News reports Cohen's wife and father-in-law are particularly concerned about their safety if the man who used to call his boss MIS-TURRRR TWUMP goes to Congress and tells the truth this time. Still, we must pause to note that this is the same guy who said this to NPR reporter Tim Mak, back when Mak was at The Daily Beast:

"I will make sure that you and I meet one day while we're in the courthouse. And I will take you for every penny you still don't have," Cohen told Mak [...] "And I will come after your Daily Beast and everybody else that you possibly know."

"So I'm warning you, tread very fucking lightly, because what I'm going to do to you is going to be fucking disgusting. You understand me?"

It's not so fun when the shoe is on the other foot, IS IT, MICHAEL?

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Did Nancy Pelosi do something to give Donald Trump the mistaken impression he has leverage here? We don't remember her doing anything like that!

Trump sent Pelosi a letter this morning to say that, despite how she told him to stay the fuck out of her House because of his government shutdown, he would still be coming to the House on January 29 to deliver his State of the Union address. And for some weird-ass reason, Trump and his advisers in the White House actually thought she would back down. It's both hilarious and alarming that Trump and his people are that stupid, isn't it?

Anyway, Pelosi took the dare. She took the dare. Was there anybody besides those dumb fucking idiots in the White House who thought she wouldn't take the dare?

Pelosi sent a letter right back to Trump to kindly explain to him that no means "go fuck yourself," and that if he'd like her to stick her foot further up his ass and kick it around a bunch, he's welcome to test her some more:

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