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Trump's Not Crazy, You're Crazy, Fake Doctor Argues On Hannity's Fake Show

Culture

This is only a four-day work week, and it still sucks for Donald Trump, who is fending off multiple accounts that he's an unhinged wannabe Henry VIII but with a less stable marital life. It's unsettling for a malignant narcissist to face the hard truth, even if only in the dreaded print form he loathes, that everyone closest to him thinks he's awful. It's also more unsettling for all of us that this same person has unfettered access to our nuclear arsenal. This is where FOX's Sean Hannity performs a valuable public service. Hannity's the president's literal bedtime storyteller, always willing to tuck in Trump and his millions of viewers with soothing fantasies designed to keep the boogeyman of reality firmly in the closet with Lindsey Graham where they belong.

Hannity's guest Wednesday night was actual human person (or so she claims) Gina Loudon. Loudon, a member of Trump's media advisory board, has written a "book" (sarcasm quotes required by law) that "proves" Trump operates with a form of "super sanity, a brilliant new modification of human perception" -- no wait, that's how some crackpot described the Joker to Batman in Grant Morrison's "Arkham Asylum." What Loudon claims is actually more suspect. Dig how ignorant this lady is.


Loudon's "book" is "Mad Politics" -- also available in Kindle format but I recommend the audiobook because the performance by Teri Schnaubelt is ah-mazing. She proposes that it's not Trump who's living in "crazytown," it's all of us. Wow! What a twist ending. I feel like Nicole Kidman in The Others.

If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result, America has been insane for decades. We've elected establishment politicians on both sides of the aisle; we've hoped for change; and we've been disappointed.

But with the election of Donald Trump, America tried something new. So we have to ask ourselves: What if Trump isn't the crazy man that the media pretends he is? What if he's actually the cure for a country who's been going mad for years?

OK, so it's the media that pretends Trump is unstable? There's really nothing at all in Trump's own words and deeds that might concern a reasonable person?

I confess I was worried that the president thinks the "Swamp" is an actual living entity with whom he's locked in a primal battle. Or that his 4 a.m. tweet praised brutal dictator Kim John Un for his "unwavering faith in him." But Loudon claims her "book" will "actually (use) science and real data and true psychological theory" to prove that we should all just let Crazy Jesus take the wheel.

This is how you know you can trust "Dr. Gina," as she insists on calling herself. She's going to use "real" data and "true" psychological theory -- none of that designer imposter stuff. That's how you know you're dealing with a "twice pedigreed Master and Ph.D."

Loudon and her blinding jewelry turn up on TV a lot to defend Trump from reality-based accusations. She was also one of those scary conservatives who appreciated Trump from the get-go rather than condemning him until he won the GOP primary and then selling their souls for Pez. She once claimed that American women aren't interested in "birth control" or even "equal pay." No, they are focused on "economic security," which is actually what the first two things are all about so who knows what's going on in her fake doctor mind. Her appearance on Hannity does prove that while Loudon wears a lot of rocks there's apparently no rock bottom for her.

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Seattle. However, he's more reliable for food and drink recommendations in Portland, where he spends a lot of time for theatre work. His co-adaptation of "Jitterbug Perfume" by Tom Robbins is playing NOW at Pioneer Square's Cafe Nordo. All Wonketters welcome.

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Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

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'Baby Geniuses' star Jon Voight took to Twitter early this morning to proclaim his undying love for Donald Trump, probably because there is no one left in his life who will listen to him talk about this, or anything else, in person. In this video rant, Voight encouraged members of the Republican Party, whom he apparently thinks are the only real citizens of the United States, to stand by Donald Trump and "acknowledge the truth" that he is the best President since Abraham Lincoln.


Part ONE:

People of the Republican Party, I know you will agree with me when I say our president has our utmost respect and our love. This job is not easy. For he's battling the left and their absurd words of destruction. I've said this once and I'll say this again. That our nation has been built on the solid ground from our forefathers, and there is a moral code of duty that has been passed on from President Lincoln. I'm here today to acknowledge the truth, and I'm here today to tell you my fellow Americans that our country…

Oh no, not our absurd words of destruction!

Part DEUX:

is stronger, safer, and with more jobs because our President has made his every move correct. Don't be fooled by the political left, because we are the people of this nation that is witnessing triumph. So let us stand with our president. Let us stand up for this truth, that President Trump is the greatest president since President Lincoln.

Does Jon Voight not know there have been... other presidents? Can he name them? Because really, it does not sound like it. Does he also not know that a very big chunk of the Republican Party actually does not care very much for Abraham Lincoln? Namely those defenders of Confederate statues that Trump called "very fine people?" Also, did he intentionally diss their beloved Ronald Reagan?

Who can know? Who can even tell what he is trying to say or why he is trying to say it. He doesn't appear to have tweeted much since 2016, so I'm guessing whoever's job it was to keep him from tanking his career quit. Either that... or after filming the seventh season of Ray Donovan, he found out it's going to be canceled or his character is getting killed off or something and he is now free to be a jackass? I don't know, I haven't watched the show, although my parents are very into it and mad that I haven't watched it. Literally all I know about it is that it has something to do with Boston, because they keep mentioning that to me like it's a selling point.

It seems useless at this point to note that the people who scream their faces off about how bad it is for Hollywood celebs to support liberal causes, and how they should keep their politics to themselves, etc. etc. make a way bigger deal than normal people do whenever a Big Time Hollywood Celebrity like Jon Voight or, uh, Scott Baio, supports their cause. Mostly because they're the only ones who have elected a reality TV star and the star of Bedtime for Bonzo (who by the way, also once practically ruined a perfectly good Bette Davis movie with his bad acting. Which is not to say that Dark Victory is not fantastic and probably the best thing to watch if you want to sob your face off, but he was very bad in it.) to run the country.

But we might as well do that anyway, because it actually never stops being funny.

[Jon Voight Twitter]

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