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Donald Trump’s personal lawyer Sheri Dillon is adding another track to her Superchill Mixtape. You've heard her smash hit CERTIFIED LETTER: No Russian Income “With Few Exceptions.” And who could forget CASE CLOSED: Just Look at This Big Stack of Papers? Superfans will remember her old work from 2016, like CONFLICTS OF INTEREST: When You're a Star, They Let You Do It, and Russia Lawfirm of the Year with Morgan, Lewis and Bockius.


And now Sheri Dillon has a new single out that's destined to become a classic. Some people are comparing it to Ann Romney's chart topper, Haven't We Given You People Enough Already!

Last week, the White House tried to distract from the FAKE NEWS by announcing that Donald Trump would release a financial disclosure, so don't you all feel bad now for saying he's having secret Russian pee orgies? (Nope!) But Donald Trump is far too busy presidenting to fill out forms. So in April, Sheri Dillon tried to get the Office of Government Ethics to accept an unsigned financial disclosure from Donald Trump. Was it FULL OF LIES? No one knows! But Ms. Dillon took the position that the disclosure was voluntary, so why should her client have to vouch that it was true? Sheri Dillon is AWESOME AT LAW.

Here's the letter from Director Walter Shaub, the OG at the OGE, saying, "LULZ! NFW are we going to certify a financial statement without a signature! Are you even a real lawyer?"

As we discussed, OGE will provide this assistance on the condition that the President is committed to certifying that the contents of his report are true, complete and correct. When we met on April 27, 2017, you requested that he be excused from providing this certification. In connection with the request, you emphasized that he is not required to file a report with OGE this year. I agreed with your analysis that he is not legally required to file but I indicated that OGE would be unwilling to certify a report that failed to meet the requirements generally applicable to public financial disclosure in the executive branch. I also indicated that OGE would be amenable to providing assistance prior to the President’s filing the report only if all parties are in agreement that he will, in fact, certify his report.

And here's Dillon's May 9 letter to Shaub, where she agreed that Trump would sign the form. BUT ONLY BECAUSE HE FEELS LIKE IT.

As we have discussed, President Trump is preparing to make a voluntary disclosure of his financial interests on OGE Form 278. This filing will be voluntary, because, having filed a report during the campaign, the President is not required to file a new report until next May. Nonetheless, President Trump welcomes the opportunity to provide this optional disclosure to the public and hopes to file it shortly.

The President has instructed us to work with you and your office so he can sign and file the completed for 278 as close as practicable to May 15 (which will be the required filing date in the future), notwithstanding the unique complexity of this voluntary disclosure. To that end, we are nearing the end of our effort to compile the report and are now ready to further the consultative process. Our goal is that by working together, the President can make this voluntary filing mid-June.

Legal Twitter was very LOLOLOLOL!!!

Because nothing says MY CLIENT IS LYING BIGLY...

Like asking the government to accept an UNSIGNED form.

Oh, Sheri!

[AP / Document Cloud / CNBC]

All our financial disclosure forms are signed and true to the best of our knowledge! And now we have the worst Steve Perry earworm. Please donate!

Five Dollar Feminist

Your FDF lives in Baltimore under an assumed identity as an upstanding member of the PTA. Shhh, don't tell anyone she makes swears on the internet!

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You guys, hi, hello, it is almost the holiday weekend, so we are going to share you a real video posted last night by "Doctor" Sebastian "Don't Call Me A Nazi" Gorka, that hilarious old knucklecuck. We guess now that he had to give up (or gave up voluntarily!) his Fox News contract, he just makes videos for the Twitter. Hoo ... ray?

Anyway, Gorka is super-excited that Donald Trump issued that order last night, giving Bill Barr all kinds of new powers to expose the Deep State for what it is and PROVE once and for all that the gremlins who live inside Trump's diarrhea are correct when they say Hillary ordered the Deep State to do an illegal witch hunt to Trump, yadda yadda yadda, you've seen these people huff paint before, we don't have to type it all.

Here is the video, after which Wonkette will either transcribe it OR we will provide our own dramatic interpretation. Which one will it be? We don't know! Would you be able to tell the difference between the two? We don't know!

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We want to say right here at the outset that we hate Julian Assange. Aside from the sexual assault allegations against him, and aside from the fact that he's just a generally stinky and loathsome person who reportedly smeared poop on the walls at the Ecuadorian embassy in London, while reportedly not taking care of his cat, an innocent creature, he acted as Russia's handmaiden during the 2016 election, in order to further Russia's campaign to steal it for Donald Trump. All signs point to his campaign being a success!

So we are justifiably happy when bad things happen to Julian Assange. We are happy his name is shit the world over, and that any reputation WikiLeaks used to have for being on the side of freedom and transparency has been stuffed down the toilet where it belongs. We are happy he looked like such a sad-ass loser when the Ecuadorian embassy finally kicked him out and he was arrested.

And quite frankly, we were OK with the initial charge against him recently unsealed in the Eastern District of Virginia. If you'll remember, he was charged with trying to help Chelsea Manning hack a password into the Defense Department, which is not what journalists do. Journalists do not drive the get-away car for sources. Journalists do not hold their sources' hair back while they're stealing classified intel. Assange is essentially accused of doing all that.

Now, put all that aside. Because -- and this is key -- journalists do publish secrets they are provided by sources. That's First Amendment, chapter and verse, American as fucking apple pie and fast-food-induced diabetes. And that is what much of the superseding indictment of Assange unsealed yesterday was about. (And nope, it wasn't about anything regarding Assange's ratfucking the 2016 election or Hillary's emails. Why would the Trump Justice Department prosecute anything about that? It's all about the older Chelsea Manning stuff, the stuff the Obama Justice Department considered charging Assange with, but ultimately declined, because of that little thing called the First Amendment.)

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