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Have you ever complained about taxes? You are not alone! People are like "boo taxes" and "taxes suck!" and "I am so tired of having tax people force me at gunpoint to give them money for illegal immigrants because that is definitely a thing that happens and I am not a crank!"


So Donald Trump, our president, listened to the people. He told his Goldman Sachs guys to make him a tax plan, and keep it simple and with small words so that even a common Donald Trump could read it! And they clicked their heels and bowed and came up with a very good tax plan.

Now, we know it is bad when bills are long and have many pages, because Sean Spicer explained the AHCA was better than Obamacare because Obamacare was TOO LONG and the AHCA was just the right height.

THIS tax plan is SIMPLE! It is explained EASILY: It takes away all personal deductions except for charity and mortgage (including deducting what you're paying to your state, although there was apparently not enough room on the single sheet of double-spaced bullet points to mention that), and it drops business taxes down to a flat 15 percent rate. Are you a business? Like maybe you do, I don't know, let's say real estate? If you have an "S corp" or pass-through business (that is where you are a Trump or a Wonkette and your business is pretty much you), you will pay less than the people you employ, which is only fair because "makers." Are you an estate tax or an alternative minimum tax, both of which affect SOME people (the Trumps) more than OTHERS (everybody else)? You no longer exist!

But what is in this for Wonkette, you are obviously asking! Well, it is GOOD for Wonkette, because we are a business. But it is BAD for Wonkette because this is literally exactly What Happened To Kansas, and probably Somalia, and if the economy goes to shit (which it does every time a Republican is president), then none of you will have any money left over every month to send to us, and 15 percent of zero is zero :(

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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