Trump's Terrible UN Pick Heather Nauert Has Nanny Problem, Because It's Always 1994
'Fox & Friends' screengrab

With the revelation that she'd hired a nanny who wasn't legal to work in the USA, former Fox News "Bunch Of Dimwits On A Couch" host Heather Nauert has withdrawn herself from consideration as a possible nominee to replace Nikki Haley as Donald Trump's ambassador to the UN. Not that she acknowledged any such thing -- instead, she said she was stepping aside for the sake of her family. It's nice to see that at least some members of this hell administration adhere to Washington traditions like the polite resignation fiction. Much classier than that time Anthony Scaramucci shoved a lit Roman candle up his ass and had to be chased around the roof of the White House when he was fired.

Nauert started off her Trump administration gig as the State Department's official spokesperson, not that being a Fox Newsbot qualified her for that either. After she proved adept at not actually delivering any information to reporters, she got a lucky career break when Rex Tillerson was shitcanned as Secretary of State. You see, when Steve Goldstein, undersecretary for public diplomacy and public affairs, was too honest about Tillerson's learning about getting fired via Twitter, Trump fired Goldstein too, and Nauert was appointed to cover his duties, as well as remaining State's spokesperson. Naturally, when Haley resigned, Trump chose Nauert as the new UN ambassador, although she hadn't been vetted at all. Not that Nauert wanted the job anyway, as the New York Timesreports:

[Nauert] initially declined when approached about the position. But Mr. Trump was adamant that she accept when he could find no one else to take the post, according to people involved in the process [...]

Although Mr. Trump had announced Ms. Nauert as his nominee for the ambassadorship, she had not been formally nominated. Her nomination was proceeding without a completed background check, according to two administration officials, and the State Department had not submitted the necessary paperwork to the Senate, raising questions about the delay among Republican Senate staff aides.

In a flurry of blowing euphemisms, the Times makes clear some in the Senate were just an eensy-teensy bit skeptical about the former Fox host's qualifications:

Some members of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee had expressed reservations in private about her candidacy, said Brett Bruen, a former diplomat and global engagement official in the Obama administration. The members had questions about whether she had the experience and expertise to deal with counterparts from other countries, especially ambassadors from Russia and China [...]

"I had heard from multiple people on the Hill that her nomination was not going well," Mr. Bruen said. "Heather's background was not commensurate with the experience necessary for one of our most difficult diplomatic assignments."

OK, but if you listen to those Obama administration crazies they'll probably insinuate that top-level diplomats don't even need to have their legs personally approved by Roger Ailes.

In her statement, Nauert said her withdrawal was all for the sake of her family, don't you know:

I am grateful to President Trump and Secretary [of State Mike] Pompeo for the trust they placed in me for considering me for the position of U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations. However, the past two months have been grueling for my family and therefore it is in the best interest of my family that I withdraw my name from consideration.

Nauert had hired a nanny for her two kids who was legally in the US, but didn't have authorization to work. It's not yet known whether Ann Coulter has demanded the nanny's immediate execution. Also, Politico uncovered this not-entirely clear Information McNugget:

An issue with Nauert's background check emerged before the president officially tapped her for the position, according to two sources familiar with the process — but the president forged ahead with the nomination anyway. It is unclear whether that was the nanny issue, or whether the matter only emerged later in the process.What is clear, though, is that Nauert's nomination confronted hurdles even before it even became a reality, and that Trump and his team ignored clear warnings that it might go south.

Well of course they don't vet people, because if you're on TV, you are automatically qualified for the job. There was some initial uncertainty as to whether Nauert would return to her job of running everything at the State Department, but that appeared to have been ruled out by Pompeo's GTFO-toned statement, in which he said she had "performed her duties as a senior member of my team with unequaled excellence" and emphasized he had "great respect" for her decision to drop out of consideration as UN ambassador. And also, please clean out your desk:

I wish Heather nothing but the best in all of her future endeavors and know that she will continue to be a great representative of this nation in whatever role she finds herself.

We believe she just got the Goodbye Look.

It's not clear who or what Trump will lean on to represent the US at the United Nations. Politico sez that some names floated before Nauert was announced in December included

Dina Powell, a Goldman Sachs executive and former senior White House aide, Ambassador to Russia Jon Hunstman, Ambassador to Germany Richard Grenell, State Department official Brian Hook and Ivanka Trump, the president's daughter and top adviser.

Oh, hells yeah, Ambassador Vanky, that works. The Times actually found some live sources, at least:

One person familiar with the current discussions said that Kelly Knight Craft, the ambassador to Canada, was being discussed as a possibility for the role. Others said that another name being floated was Richard Grenell, the ambassador to Germany who recently spent time with a United States delegation that included Ivanka Trump.

And the poor Washington Post didn't have any speculation at all, darn them. Still, either Craft or Grenell would be a peach: Craft is a big GOP fundraiser and is married to a coal billionaire, so her steadfast insistence on listening to "both sides on the science" of climate change would surely be a valued contribution to America's international prestige. But Grenell would really make for some fun confirmation hearings. The former Fox News talking head (oh look, he's qualified, say no more!) and aide to John Bolton has generally been a huge pain in the ass in Germany, where he's widely despised. But Politico said last month Grenell has been an effective bully for Trump priorities, so what the hell, he could be the pick.

It's not like the US could really do that much more to make itself look stupid to the rest of the world anyway. Does Grenell know anything about handling fireworks?

[Politico / NYT / WaPo / Politico]

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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