Tucker Begging Elon To Leak Twitter DMs Proving Russia INNOCENT!

America's incels, white supremacists, and other reject white men are having a moment right now, what with Elon Musk buying Twitter and using it to fulfill every aggrieved white man loser fantasy that exists. They feel like they are in the in-crowd for the first time ever, like the coolest guy in the whole world thinks they are the coolest and he wears spacesuits just for them and he unbans them from Twitter just for them and he owns the libs just for them and he gives Bari Weiss and Matt Taibbi secret emails so they can all scream "Hunter Biden's penis!" together just for them.

They feel cool. They think they are going to lose their virginity on prom night with real human women. They think people will stop making fun of them. They think people will truly admire them. They think people will give them the respect they deserve.

As usual, guys like that overcompensate, get out way over their skis real fuckin' quick, and end up humiliating themselves in front of the whole entire school in fairly short order. This whole thing with the Twitter Files is no exception. All sane and normal people agree that this whole Twitter Files thing has been an unmitigated embarrassment, a giant nothing. Zero information of consequence in the real world has been released.

But maybe that will change!

Elon Musk Dispatches Howler Monkeys To Drive Former Employee From His Home

'Twitter Files' Wasn't Dumb Enough, So Musk And Taibbi Bringing In Ringer Bari Weiss

Here is Tucker Carlson last night thirstily begging Elon Musk to release private Twitter DMs in order to validate every insane batshit pro-Russia conspiracy theory he could think of, which implies his brain is so far gone that he thinks there really is REAL PROOF out there that these things are true. This happened over graphics and chyrons that said "INTEL TOOL" and said Twitter has been an "arm of the CIA, FBI" and "THERE MAY STILL BE FBI AGENTS WORKING AT TWITTER."

Tucker says in the clip that Twitter DMs have been historically "a kind of private text app for some of the world's most prominent people." He says if you want to know "what well informed sources were telling reporters off the record, you would want to see those messages." And baselessly he says "we strongly suspect" that Twitter has already shared DMs without a warrant.

Tucker thinks THE TRUTH about the following things are in Twitter's DMs and internal documents:

  • "The silencing of Donald Trump"
  • "Tony Fauci's buffoonish lies about the COVID shot"
  • "The sabotage of Nord Stream 2"
  • "The supposed poison gas attacks in Syria"
  • "The imprisoning of Julian Assange, why is he there?"
  • "The theft of incriminating emails from the DNC, what was that story!"
  • "The motivation behind the Russian invasion of Ukraine"

Goodness gracious.

Amazing how many of the conspiracy theories there appear to be about Tucker's pet issues of absolving Russia and Vladimir Putin of responsibility for all wrongdoing in all things, don't you think? Tucker's been Just Asking Questions about who REALLY bombed the Nord Stream 2 pipelines since that happened. He says "supposed poison gas attacks in Syria" as if Russia's puppet Assad didn't genocide his own people. (He learn about that one from Tulsi Gabbard?)

Julian Assange? What's THAT all about!

And yes, indeed, who stole those emails from the DNC? Was it Russian hackers? (It was Russian hackers.) Or was it SETH RIIIIIIIIIICH? (It was Russian hackers.)

And why did Putin REALLY invade Ukraine? Was it because Kamala Harris and Joe Biden forced him to, like Tucker has been suggesting?

So that'll be on Russian TV tonight, if it hasn't made it there already.

MORE! Russian Media Just LOVING Tucker Carlson's Coverage Of Great Satan America's Attacks On Pipelines!

Tucker So Mad Kamala Harris Forced Putin To Invade Ukraine

Sounds Like Sean Hannity's Seth Rich Source Was 'Russian Spies,' Ha? Ha?

Tulsi Gabbard Being Weird As F*ck Again

Tucker concludes by saying Elon Musk now has the "most significant trove of secret information ever to reside in private hands" and begs Elon to release it. You know, because he's just pretty sure it will prove THE REAL TRUTH that America is bad and Deep State is bad and Russia is good and Putin is good.

Seth Rich, though. If we are bringin' that one back, hoo boy.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter right here!

And once that doesn't exist, I'm also giving things a go at the Mastodon (@evanhurst@newsie.social) and at Post!

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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