Tucker Carlson Is A Garbage Human, Memorial Day Edition!

Conservatives were just very patriotic this weekend for Memorial Day. They yelled at Vice President Kamala Harris for telling people to enjoy the long weekend without mentioning the troops, as if they were not personally drunk on Natty Light, firing up their grills and putting squirrels on them, and shooting fireworks in the air like "PEW! PEW! PEW PEW!" like some kind of gender reveal party gone wild. As if they spend this weekend every year sober and somber.

Of course, in Dallas, disgraced retired Lt. Gen. Michael Flynn was calling for coups against the United States.

And here is Tucker Carlson, on Memorial Day, attacking the military, saying, "Our military at times does not seem interested in protecting our country."

As Mediaite notes, this was Tucker's Memorial Day special. Hi, I'm Tucker Carlson, and fuck the troops!

In the short clip above, Tucker explains that a lot has changed in America over the past year. He says our "public health experts have been exposed as frauds, as incompetent and dishonest." That has actually not happened, but here's a clip of Tucker last month saying that COVID vaccines kill. He says, "Our schools are now openly teaching racism to our children." That is also a lie, but we understand that white supremacists shrivel up into a tiny little balls of fear and puddles of their own excrement at any school curriculum that doesn't portray the white man as a heroic, blameless savior. We also understand that conservatives are EXTREMELY concerned that all the schools, even the preschools, are teaching college-level critical race theory to children. They don't know what critical race theory is, but that's not important, because it sounds scary.

And he bitched that "most channels don't want to cover these stories, the REAL stories." Bless his heart.

As for whatever else Tucker said about the military on last night's show, if you're interested, you'll have to find out for yourself. Wonkette doesn't actually sit down and watch the entire Tucker Carlson White Power Hour, because we hear that's bad for your brain.

But we do know Tucker has been on a tangent attacking the military for being too woke, waving his penile insecurity around as he whines about a supposed "masculinity crisis" in the military and pregnant servicemembers and Black women's hairstyles in the military -- you know, all the things completely normal and well-developed American males are worried about. So we assume he was at least alluding to that, if he didn't actually expound on it.

Again, don't watch the whole hour, don't care.

In summary and in conclusion, Tucker Carlson is a piece of shit again, the end.

[h/t The New Civil Rights Movement]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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