How Are We Forcing Tucker Carlson To Be A Fascist This Week?
On Thursday night, Tucker Carlson invited perennial Arizona congressional candidate and rightwing commentator Jesse Kelly on to discuss the whole Hunter Biden gun thing. The real issue with this story, the two claim, is that when Hunter Biden bought the gun in the first place, he answered "no" to the question "Are you an unlawful user of, or addicted to, marijuana or any depressant, stimulant, narcotic drug, or any other controlled substance?" Lying on a background check is a felony, and as Hunter Biden has notably battled drug addiction throughout his adult life, it could be considered a lie even if he were sober at that particular time. He has not been arrested for this. (Politico got a copy of the background check, in case you, like us, were wondering if PERHAPS Hunter Biden might have availed himself of a private sale or gun show loophole.)
Both Carlson and Kelly are sure that if they were to lie on a background check for a gun, they would end up going to prison — their claim being that the law is harsher on white conservatives than on practically anyone else in the nation, and that this will eventually lead to conservatives being forced to elect a ('nother?) fascist. Because they will be just so tired of being held accountable while Hunter Biden, Antifa and Black Lives Matter get away with all of the crimes. Yes, surely Carlson and Kelly would be two of the dozen people a year who face federal prosecution (with several hundred more in the states, typically for charges like "felon in possession of a firearm") for lying on a background check, out of the 180,000 people a year who do so.
Most people would hear that a rich white guy got away with a crime and go, "Well, that is just about normal for a country that is both very racist and very classist," but Tucker Carlson and Jesse Kelly have determined that the real reason Hunter Biden got away with this crime is because he is a rich Democrat.
TUCKER CARLSON (HOST): I think you make a really solid point about the sadness and the powerlessness that people feel in the face of this. And some point people are going to say, "Why should I follow the rules? Why should I be a good citizen if they don't have to follow the rules?" I mean, things kind of break down at some point, don't they?
JESSE KELLY: They will break down, they are breaking down, Tucker. I have said this before, and I'm telling you I'm worried that I'm right, the Right is going to pick a fascist within 10 to 20 years —
CARLSON: Right. That's right.
KELLY: — Because they're not going to be the only one — the only ones on the outs. There's 60, 70 million of us. We're not a tiny minority, and if we're going to be all treated like criminals and all subject to every single law, while Antifa Black Lives Matter guys go free and Hunter Biden goes free, then the Right's going to take drastic measures.
And it's not about Hunter Biden and his drug use. Nobody cares the guy was bumping booger sugar lines off European hookers on the weekend.
KELLY: It's about justice, that he's never held accountable for it and none of the Bidens are, but you would be, Tucker, and so would I.
CARLSON: That's so well put and you're absolutely right. We are moving toward actual extremism because they're undermining the system that kept extremism at bay. I don't think we can say that enough. I'm so glad that you just said it. Jesse Kelly, thank you.
So, just to be clear, Tucker Carlson and Jesse Kelly, a pair of rich white men, one of whom is the heir to a frozen TV dinner fortune, are absolutely certain that they would be more likely to be held accountable and treated more harshly for crimes than people involved with Black Lives Matter, a movement that exists solely because police officers can't stop murdering Black people for "crimes" like selling loosies, attempting to use a counterfeit $20 bill, and being a child with a toy gun.
Tucker Carlson and Jesse Kelly perceive an unequal application of justice — which there is absolutely no evidence for — and their reaction to this is "Well, we'll just have no choice but to put on some brown shirts and go full fascist! If you get thrown to your death from a helicopter, don't blame us! We were pushed too far!"
Need I remind you that Carlson spent pretty much all of last summer with his Labrador mouth hanging open and his pearls clutched, unable to imagine why Black people and allies were making such a thing about police officers kneeling on a man's neck for 8 minutes over the aforementioned counterfeit bill, and why they would be so mad that they would take it out on innocent Starbucks buildings that never hurt nobody. He could not believe this! He was so outraged!
Not only that, but let us not forget that he was equally outraged when Colin Kaepernick protested police brutality by quietly kneeling during the national anthem. So there is no good, appropriate or justifiable way, in the eyes of Tucker Carlson, for Black people to protest the unequal application of justice (to put it extremely mildly), but he feels it would be entirely justified for Republicans to elect a Mussolini Junior (again) because Hunter Biden got away with lying on a background check.
And we would all deserve it, because we just sat back and let this injustice happen.
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Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse