Tucker Carlson Leads GOP Charge To Feed Ukrainian Aid To American Babies

Tucker Carlson Leads GOP Charge To Feed Ukrainian Aid To American Babies

On Tuesday, the House approved a $40 billion aid package for Ukraine by a massive 368-57 vote. You can't get 368 votes to rename a post office in DC these days, and still the House voted overwhelmingly in favor of spending the money, even topping up President Joe Biden's funding request by $7 billion.

“As China, Iran and North Korea watch our response, we must show the world that America stands firm with its allies and will do what is necessary to protect our interests abroad,” Rep. Kay Granger of Texas, the ranking Republican on the Appropriations Committee told the AP.

It's a no-brainer: Democrats support the spread of democracy and stability in Europe, and Republicans want to be seen as projecting American power internationally. As the the Post's Leigh Ann Caldwell notes, it's going to get bipartisan support in the Senate, where Senators Rand Paul and John Kennedy are currently being dicks and holding up the vote — 'cause it's a day that ends in Y.

So who are the braindead dipshits in the House that voted against it?

Well, it's exactly who you think it is.

Or, as Democratic Rep. Ruben Gallego put it on Twitter, "If there was a Venn diagram of the GOP members of Congress that just voted against aid for Ukraine bc 'we need to focus on the USA' and the GOP members of Congress that voted against infrastructure it would make a perfect circle."

That would be a response to the current Republican talking point that we're spending more money on Ukraine than we spent on American roads and bridges last year. Not that these filthy sumbitches would ever support spending actual money on improving the lives of their constituents. Because their domestic priorities begin and end at waging endless culture war to keep the base pissed off and ill-informed.

These purists are so doggedly devoted to opposing anything that Democrats support that they're currently attacking their own party over Ukraine aid. And since Abbott issued a recall of Similac after bacterial contamination killed two babies, the vocabulary phrase of the week is FORMULA SHORTAGE. As in, how can we afford to help Ukraine fend off a murderous dictator when free market capitalism fails to feed American babies?

Let's see how many of these America First-ers support the president's proposed increase in funding for the FDA to keep our food supply safe. Gonna go out on a limb and guess zero.

Georgia's nuttiest congresswoman got into it on Twitter last night with her fellow Republican Rep. Dan Crenshaw.

Damn that woman for making us agree with Dan frickin' Crenshaw!

As usual, Tucker Carlson is leading the charge. Who wants to read several thousand words of insane ranting likening the Ukraine aid package to watching your parents give your Christmas presents to the kid down the street? Oh, nobody?


[Y]ou can't afford to fill your truck, but you now get to pay the living expenses of anyone who shows up in your country claiming to be from Ukraine and you will. And then because paying off your friends is always the real point of these exercises in Washington, there are billions more dollars for Lloyd Austin's former employers in the weapons business. That would include $72 million for something the bill describes as "research, development, test, and evaluation in Ukraine." Hmm.

Now, don't say biolabs because that's not a lab, but honestly, this is weird. Ukraine is a war zone and therefore probably not a great place for scientific research right now, but whatever. We're funding some kind of science experiments in Ukraine. No more questions from you. And the bill goes on like this and on and on.

Bioweapons lab. DRINK!

A majority of House Republicans voted for the Ukraine aid package, but apparently it's all Democrats' fault.

You should know that every single Democrat in the House of Representatives voted for this bill. That would include even Barbara Lee of Berkeley. Now, if you remember her name, it may be because in 2001, Barbara Lee of Berkeley was the only member of Congress to oppose the war against the Taliban. But a war in Ukraine is a war that Barbara Lee can support. Why? Because there's no potential chance that war could help the United States.

Also, Liz Cheney and Elise Stefanik are besties now, according to Tucker. That whole business where Stefanik shivved Cheney and took her job as GOP conference chair is in the past, and now they just braid each other's hair in the cloak room and talk about how dreamy Adam Kinzinger is.

Now, 57 Republicans did vote against last night's bill and God bless them for doing it, but many more voted for it. Of course, there was Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger and their friend Elise Stefanik. But there was also Republican leadership, top leadership, McCarthy and Scalise. Shameful. And the worst part is this bill will almost certainly pass in the Senate, which is way more left wing even than the House on the Republican side.

It's hilariously batshit in a let-them-fight-dot-gif way. And also, it's not funny at all, since we're locked in the house with these people and they are increasingly divorced from anything like reality.

There's only one solution to this problem and it is ... well, shit, if you figure it out, tell us ASAP!

[AP / Fox]

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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