Tucker Carlson: Liz Warren Could Be Next Trump If She Were Just More Racist & Gross


Elizabeth Warren showed Fox News the back of her hand, but she's still managed to entrance Tucker Carlson of all people with her policy proposals. Last night, Carlson praised Warren's proposal for "aggressive intervention on behalf of American workers." Her "economic patriotism" platform makes "obvious sense" to Carlson, which means she must've used flash cards.

As a "thought experiment," Carlson quoted verbatim from a Warren speech about greedy corporations who'd sell out American workers for a nickel. It shows how brilliant Warren is that her ideas are still compelling even when coming out of Carlson's stupid mouth.

CARLSON: Now, let's say you regularly vote Republican.

Guess the "thought experiment" is over now. This is Fox News. Everyone watching votes Republican.

CARLSON: Ask yourself: What part of the statement you just heard did you disagree with? Was there a single word that seemed wrong to you? Probably not. Here's the depressing part: Nobody you voted for said that or would ever say. Republicans in Congress can't promise to protect American industry. It might violate some principle of Austrian economics. It might make the Koch brothers mad. It might alienate the libertarian ideologues who to this day fund most Republican campaigns.

It's hilarious that Carlson thinks Fox viewers wouldn't disagree with Warren's statements. They've willingly watched Fox hosts deride Big Bird as a moocher, sucking off the government teat. Carlson himself founded The Daily Caller and has worked at Fox for a decade. He knows these people worship at the altars of Ronald Reagan and Ayn Rand. The Brothers Koch are not outliers among the Fox viewership.

But the former bow-tie wearing child of privilege has recently rebranded himself as a populist. (Hey, Madonna tried to be Bjork for a couple years in the 1990s.) Populism with a heaping helping of nativism appeals greatly to white supremacists, including Richard Spencer. It's been a consistent theme on Carlson's show. White nationalists like to target the perceived decadent "elite" who think they know better than the average Joe. That was how candidate Donald Trump gained traction in parts of the country he'd never visited previously.

Tucker Carlson Praises Elizabeth Warren: Her Economic Policies 'Make Obvious Sense'

Don't send any Warren swag to Carlson just yet, though. His praise of her needs its own fainting couch.

CARLSON: There's not a word about identity politics [in Warren's comments]. There are no hysterics about gun control and climate change. There's no lecture about the plight of transgender illegal immigrants. It's just pure, old fashioned economics.

We're confident that when Warren talks about "American workers," she means all Americans, which still includes minorities. It really annoys us when conservatives dismiss "identity politics" with absurd references to "transgender tap dancers reciting Eskimo poetry." This is why Warren doesn't go on your raggedy-ass network.

Carlson implies that Warren briefly ditched the identity politics so she could dazzle voters with sound economic policies like "Donald Trump at his best." Trump has no economic policies and is never at his "best." He's only ever offered cultural resentment and xenophobic rants.

Warren isn't piggybacking off Trump's "America first" bullshit. When Carlson and his colleagues at Fox were crying into their pillows on election night 2012, Warren was serving notice in her Senate victory speech.

That was almost three years before Trump rode an escalator and blamed Mexicans for broke-ass white people's problems. Warren doesn't spread hate. She identifies problems and provides constructive solutions. That's not "Donald Trump at his best." That's not a Donald Trump who even exists.

Carlson then repulsively describes Warren as a "race-hustling, gun-grabbing, abortion extremist." He whines that almost no one in Washington speaks for the majority of voters (except his buddy Trump).

CARLSON: You're either a libertarian zealot controlled by the banks.

That's some not very veiled anti-Semitic tripe right there.

CARLSON: Or worse, you're some decadent trust-fund socialist who wants to ban passenger cars and give Medicaid to illegal aliens.

Conservative bogeyman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez doesn't want to ban passenger cars. She also doesn't have a trust fund. He's thinking of Trump.

CARLSON: Imagine a politician who wanted to make your health care cheaper but wasn't ghoulishly excited about partial birth abortion?

This is Warren discussing abortion, you asshole. She's not "ghoulishly excited." She just thinks women are people.

CARLSON: Imagine someone who genuinely respected the nuclear family.

That's definitely not Warren, who only has the one. Trump has had at least three so far. He even mixes and matches.

CARLSON: Why couldn't you have a party that is economically nationalist and socially conservative? Why is that so hard?

Because the last time a party pulled that off, it led to D Day.

[The Daily Beast/ Washington Post]

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Seattle. However, he's more reliable for food and drink recommendations in Portland, where he spends a lot of time for theatre work. His co-adaptation of "Jitterbug Perfume" by Tom Robbins is playing NOW at Pioneer Square's Cafe Nordo. All Wonketters welcome.

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It was bound to happen. We're now watching Republican congressmen react to Donald Trump sitting in the Oval Office and saying "RUSSIA IF YOU'RE LISTENING" during an interview with George Stephanopoulos, literally inviting hostile foreign powers to attack the 2020 election for him like Russia did in 2016. And if you thought there wouldn't be at least one of them to say the quiet part loud and state for the record that crime is good if it helps Republicans win, then you haven't been paying attention to the Republican party in quite a while.

Enter GOP Rep. Chris Stewart of Utah, who sits on the House Intelligence Committee, AKA the committee whose members really should know better, even the Republicans, but unfortunately they don't because A) they're idiots and B) they've been sucking at Devin Nunes's dairy cows' teats (ALLEGEDLY) for too long:

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