Twitter Calmly Assesses The Nuances Of Aaron Schock's Resignation

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You may have heard that Rep. Aaron Schock has suddenly resigned in the aftermath of the astonishing revelations in the final episode of HBO's The Jinx. And has the unexpected departure of the Distinguished Gentleman From Instagram blown up a Tweetstorm? Has it ever! There are the de rigeur solemn statements of regret, of course:


Just try not to giggle too much at that "buff.ly" domain name -- it's purely coincidental. (Boehner to Aaron Schock: Tits Or GTFO).

But for the most part, it's been a parade of political in-jokes, and why are we even typing when mostly you want us to get out of the way and get to the tweeterfunnies? Allons-y!

The Best Congressional Tweeter in the World, John Dingell, weighed in:

And some of the Usual Suspects complained that we never, ever hear about Democratic scandals:

So true! If only someone had mentioned that Anthony Weiner was a Democrat! He probably would have been forced out of office, you bet.

But mostly, there was just a lot of epic goofiness:

Our resident Schockspert, Evan Hurst, assures us that the banana hammock photo is not our Aaron. He can tell from the pixels. You may commence weeping now.

Were there amusing photoshops? Why, yes! Yes there were!

And yes, there is even a conspiracy theory that is absolutely positively true, from the New Stupidest Man On the Internet, because oh for chrissakes there had to be, didn't there?

And now it's just a matter of waiting for the other shoe to drop. Maybe he's rehoming his Obama podium?

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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