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Last night, First Lady Michelle Obama gave her DNC speech, and in a pink Tracy Reese dress (stylishand symbolic, of course), our FLOTUS verbally kickboxed Mitt Romney in the junk. There were those lines, "Being president doesn’t change who you are – it reveals who you are," and "Success isn’t about how much money you make, it’s about the difference you make in people’s lives." The libruls drooled, Michelle Malkin's brain exploded a little, and the Twitter was bananas! "First Lady Michelle Obama garnered nearly double the tweets-per-minute during her speech than GOP presidential nominee Mitt Romney." And we all know that this is very important for November, when we all use our Twitter machines to vote. Twitter voting reduces fraud!


Did you know there is a thing called a "Twindex?" Michelle Obama's Twindex is out of control, whatever that means!

Michelle’s Twindex, a measure of favorability on Twitter, rose from 71 before her speech to 84 after. Romney’s wife Ann’s Twindex increased more dramatically after her own speech in Tampa, from 45 to 83.

The first lady didn’t just beat Romney; she beat her husband’s 2012 State of the Union address, which peaked at 14,131 TPM.

Who especially liked talking about Michelle Obama on Twitter? Why, THE WOMEN, of course! The women were all curling their hair and eating birth control and sobbing about Michelle Obama.

“She was stunningly powerful, straight from the heart,” tweeted actress Ashley Judd, who is a Tennessee delegate to the convention. Judd said Obama was “breathtaking” and that the first lady’s remarks left her “rather speechless.”

Democratic strategist Donna Brazile, who ran Al Gore’s presidential campaign in 2000, posted on Twitter that she thought Obama delivered an “inspirational” speech.

She also noted the reaction inside the Time Warner Cable Arena. “Love is in the air,” Brazile said.

So as they say on the Twitter, #winning #freedom #buthershoeswere"rhubarb"coloredwhichiscodefornomorefrenchfries

[Politico / USA Today]

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Meet Opal Covey! Opal has been running for Mayor of Toledo, Ohio since 2012 and is a self-proclaimed prophetess with a flair for fashion and a dream to fill the city with amusement parks (and the potholes with asphalt). She claims that despite coming in last in all of these elections, she actually won them but all the votes were destroyed because "voter fraud" and that if the City of Toledo does not elect her, God will do a bunch of wrath to it.

And now she is a wrestling champion!

Yes, this Thursday, Opal made her wrestling debut on something called "Extreme Chaos Wrestling." But rather than spending the whole match doing wrestling stuff, Opal just ranted incoherently for seven minutes, until some guy named "Pain Train" showed up. Then some other guy hit Pain Train over the head with some kind of wooden stick, and Opal put her foot on his back and yelled triumphantly, the clear winner of this definitely real wrestling match.

Local "Politician" Opal Covey Takes on Local Indy wrestler. youtu.be

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I was *this* close to titling this post "You Seriously Will Not Freakin' Believe The Stupid Shit Republicans Want To Add To The Equality Act" before realizing that I should not do that, on account of it being a very clickbait-sounding headline and we are above that here, but seriously... you will not freakin' believe this shit.

At least I didn't, and it's awfully hard to surprise me these days. Seriously, if I were on Family Feud, with an audience made up entirely of Congressional Republicans and the topic was "Our Terrible Ideas For Amendments To The Equality Act," I would fail miserably. I would go home with nothing.

I don't know, I guess I still have too much faith in people.

The Equality Act is supposed to be an amendment to the Civil Rights Act meant to prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity specifically. Theoretically, it should be as simple as that. But of course, not only do Republicans want to add a bunch of things in there meant to ensure that bigots can still discriminate against people based on their sexual orientation and gender identity, but they also want to throw in a bunch of shit in there about abortion and about prohibiting discrimination against people for their "political orientation." Because god forbid anyone judge anyone based on... the content of their character.

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