U.S. (And Coalition, Sure) Bombs ISIS In Syria, Yay!

Excellent news, everybody! We're at war again! Ha-ha, we are joking -- we are always at war, but we are also never "really" at war! We are at Kinetic Counter-Terrorism Operation again, withshiny new airstrikes on ISIS and on the Khorasan Group in Syria. We are not, however, launching airstrikes on Syria. Just in Syria. See the difference?

In fact, we were kind enough to let the Syrian government know we were coming, and seeing as how the Assad government is at war with ISIS too, they said, "OK, mang, just make sure you explain that this is a Complex Geopolitical Conflict, and that you're not actually helping us fight ISIS, you're fighting ISIS on your own terms, OK?" And the Pentagon said, "Cool Beans."

Also, the State Department clarified this morning that it didn't ask permission -- it just "warned Syria not to engage US aircraft."

Also, it's very important to know that we're not going it alone!

The US Central Command (Centcom) said Sunni Arab countries Bahrain, Jordan, Qatar, Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates "participated in or supported" the strikes.

In an exclusive scoop, Yr Wonkette has learned that this component of the operation is codenamed "Credible Fig Leaf."

Politico is pretty jazzed, tentatively bestowing the title of War President on Commander-In-Chief Barry Bamz:

It’s now clear that the perilously swift rise of the Islamic State, and perhaps too the perilous downward slide of the president’s poll numbers, has forced him to radically re-evaluate his presidency—and to shed, at long last, the state of denial he has appeared to inhabit regarding the most precious myth of his presidency: that he was close to defeating al Qaeda, and bringing America out of a “state of perpetual war.” If Obama can at long last discard that superannuated narrative and forcefully confront the Islamic State—as he promised to do in his Sept. 10 speech to the nation—then the waning perception of him as an effective leader could change in a short period of time.

So far, the Loyal Opposition has been relatively supportive. Speaker of the House John Boehner issued a statement saying:

ISIL is a direct threat to the safety and security of the United States and our allies. I support the air strikes launched by the president, understanding that this is just one step in what must be a larger effort to destroy and defeat this terrorist organization.

We're pretty sure that "a larger effort to destroy and defeat" ISIS translates to "Let's send in ground troops too, but I'm not going to say that out loud." Boehner closed by wishing Godspeed to "our men and women in uniform" and by scheduling another vote to repeal Obamacare.

John Bolton hasn't yet appeared on Fox to say that now is the perfect time to bomb Iran, but we expect it within the next few hours.

Breitbart horcrux Matthew Boyle pretty much sums up teabaggers' mixed feelings about the strikes in Syria. On the one hand, a war is always swellcome, but on the other hand, Barack Obama just can't seem to stop wiping his ass with the Constitution:

The current and immediate past chairmen of the House Homeland Security Committee have publicly backed President Barack Obama’s airstrikes against ISIS in Syria, despite the fact the president did not seek congressional approval for them.

Boyle does at least note, several paragraphs in, that House and Senate leadership were quite happy to go to recess rather than actually debate an authorization for military action in Syria.

Commenters at wingnut sites were also divided. Some were quick to note that Obama personally created ISIS by withdrawing U.S. troops from Iraq, while others were certain that he had ordered the airstrikes with tears in his eyes, since he is of course a member of the Muslim Brotherhood, ISIS, al Qaeda, and Hamas himself. Also, he's probably just going to go golfing again, haw-haw-haw.

And finally, as is our habit, we're mostly inclined to turn off the cable news and just go read Mark Twain's "The War Prayer" and Auden's "September 1, 1939."

One. More. Goddamned. Time.

[BBC / The Independent / Politico / Breitbart / The War Prayer]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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