Did Jerry Nadler stutter? Did Attorney General Bill Barr think Nadler was somehow bluffing when he said that if the Mueller report wasn't on his desk by 11:59 PM last night, it would be subpoena-thirty, motherfuckers? Or does Bill Barr just not care, because Bill Barr does not care about the rule of law, and only cares about protecting the rogue presidency of the fuckmouth who hired him?

We are not sure, but Jerry Nadler convened his House Judiciary Committee this morning -- like he said he would -- and they voted to authorize subpoenas for the entire Mueller report, no redactions, no bullshit -- just like he said he would!

This doesn't mean they're issuing subpoenas immediately. It just means that if Barr does not shape up, then all Nadler has to do is press the button, and there will suddenly be subpoenas lodged inside Barr's asshole, because that is how things work in the US and A.

He explained this morning before the committee vote:

A Democratic House Judiciary aide told CNN that part of why they're doing it this way, as opposed to just firing up the subpoena launcher immediately, is so that when they have to go to court, they will be able to say "Look how nice we were, giving DoJ so much time to respond to our requests! NOW FUCKING GIVE IT."

Nadler spoke to reporters shortly after the vote and clarified some things:


In very short order. I can't say how many days.


No. The committee must see everything. As was done in every prior instance.

Nadler added that certain things will have to be redacted for public release (GIVE IT, JERRY NADLER!) but that that is the committee's decision, not Barr's. "We make those judgments," said Nadler.

Question three: Will you go to court all by yourself to get the grand jury information, if Barr isn't willing to play ball?


Nadler also addressed Republican allegations that this is somehow different from how Democrats acted with the Ken Starr report on Bill Clinton's jizz, because in that case, he said Democrats were fighting to protect certain privacy details from public release, not from letting the House Judiciary Committee see it in the first fucking place.

"In 1998, the debate was not about Congress receiving evidence. Congress had already received the full, 445-page report and 17 boxes of additional documents, including grand jury material," Nadler said. "We are owed that same opportunity today."

Of course, the Republicans on the committee are just so mad about all this. CNN quotes several of them talking at this morning's hearing about how there are Very Important Reasons why their own committee shouldn't be able to see the full unredacted Mueller report and its underlying evidence and intelligence, at least partially because they seem to want to muddy the distinction between what their committee is allowed to see and what the general public is allowed to see:

"He's is expressly forbidden from providing grand jury materials outside the department (with) very limited exceptions. Congress is not one of the exceptions and the chairman knows it," [committee ranking member Doug] Collins said. "The attorney general, although he has been smeared repeatedly, is doing exactly what the regulation says. And for that, congratulations Mr. Attorney General, you get a subpoena." [...]

"The attorney general has promised to provide as much transparency as he possibly can, but I'm afraid that's never going to be good enough for some in here," said Rep. John Ratcliffe, a Texas Republican.

Poor Bill Barr, his hands are just tied! (For more on the GOP's strategy of lying by trying to confuse everybody about the difference between the committee seeing classified/grand jury stuff vs. the public seeing it, check Marcy Wheeler's live-tweeting of this morning's meeting.)

Trump, during the very same Oval Office meeting yesterday where he bellyached about the "oranges" of the Mueller investigation and lied again about where his daddy was born, said "it's hypocrisy and a disgrace!" that Nadler and the Democrats want to read the full, unredacted report, like they're fuckin' members of Congress or something. Yet again, they're all on the same message.

It's almost as if Trump and the rest of these Republican assholes don't want anybody to see what is in Mueller's report, especially not those elected Democrats. Probably because it would just embarrass the Democrats how much it exonerates Donald Trump on cahoots-ing with the Russians to steal the election.

They're clearly scared of something. Oh hey, Lindsey Graham, whatchu doin'? Gonna tell us now why you don't want to see the report, because we should really just trust Bill Barr and OH HEY! SQUIRREL! SQUIRREL THAT COMMITTED EMAIL CRIMES WITH HILLARY CLINTON!

They are fucking freaked.


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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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