Last night, Kraken jackass Sidney Powell reportedly was at the White House again. She was presumably there to fill the brain of suggestible moron Donald Trump, who will be president for 29 more days, with thoughts about how for real they can do a coup and make him dictator-for-life. Or maybe they are fucking, they could just be fucking. Rudy Giuliani, Trump's lawyer, has been calling the Department of Homeland Security begging them to seize the voting machines. Also news broke about Giuliani last night that the investigation into him at the Southern District of New York is getting pretty hardcore, and they might try to seize his voting machines, by which we mean all the grandpa texts he's been accidentally sending on his Grandpa's-First-iPhone.

We'll have a lot more on all that today, but we need you to also know that Ivanka Trump may have lost her inheritance from Daddy yesterday in Georgia. And when we say "inheritance from Daddy," we mean his debt. Yes, Ivanka may be written right out of being the person who has to sit on the phone with creditors and collection agencies making payment arrangements to settle her poor dad's debt, whenever God decides it is time for his scaly disgusting meat body to expire from its human form.

Also maybe he won't give her that preemptive pardon. Womp womp.

Here is what she did: She said Joe Biden is going to be president on Jan. 20, which is under 700 hours from now. Or at least she strongly implied it. YOU ARE NOT DONALD'S DAUGHTER ANYMORE, SIDNEY POWELL IS DONALD TRUMP'S REAL DAUGHTER. Or maybe they are just fucking, they could just be fucking. (Sidney! Not Ivanka, you sicko. And don't even try to play that in the comments.)


Here's how it went down:

At a campaign rally for Republican Sens. David Perdue and Kelly Loeffler in Georgia, the president's daughter said that if Democratic nominees Jon Ossoff and Raphael Warnock win the Jan. 5 Senate runoff, Democrats will control the Senate.

She called the two Republican senators the "last line of defense against this agenda."

Um, Ivanka? Did you not hear that your dad is doing a coup and there is going to be a martial law and Sidney Powell is the most genius Kraken lawyer in the whole entire world of Kraken lawyers and she's at the White House almost every night helping to do the coup with your dad, or maybe they are just fucking? Because since all of that is just true, if Ossoff and Warnock win the Senate runoffs, Mike Pence will still be presiding over the Senate.

You know, unless Ivanka meant to acknowledge the reality of Joe Biden's landslide win over her dipshit dad.

JoeMyGod shares this tweet from the National Republican Senatorial Committee, which doesn't include Ivanka saying the sin words about her dad not being the forever king of America, but it sure does seem to acknowledge that Vanks shared the stakes of the Georgia runoffs.

As of this writing, we have not yet seen a tweet from Donald Trump accusing the weak and failing Deep State Ivanka of spying on his campaign, or seen him saying Tiffany is is new favorite, but it could happen.

In summary and in conclusion, we heard that Ivanka Trump is doing collusion with a Dominion voting machine right now. Is it true? Don't know, but we think it's important to report things we hear from our imagination anyway, because it could be true.

The end.

[Washington Post]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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