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Oh. Fuck.


Sound the sad trombone for Carly Fiorina, because her puddle of deep doggy doo she's already drowning in just turned into a bottomless shit pit. You know how she has been lying all the lies about a video of Planned Parenthood doing badness to an aborted "fully formed fetus on the table, its heart beating, its legs kicking, while someone says we have to keep it alive to harvest its brain"? Everyone -- literally, every single person in America, pretty much -- has said, "No, Carly, you did not see a video of that, because no such thing exists." But Carly and her campaign found this completely other video made by this completely other anti-choice group, purportedly of a just-aborted leg-kicking fetus. Sure, it wasn't filmed at Planned Parenthood, and, OK, no one is talking about harvesting its brain. But pffft, says Carly, how dare the "liberal media" focus on a mere "technicality." So BOO HISS Planned Parenthood, and save the leg-kicking aborted fetuses. And look, here is the entire "unedited" (but huh, still edited somehow) video of that "aborted" fetus. Except nope, even that is a lie.

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Gregg Cunningham is the founder of the anti-choice Center for Bio-Ethical Reform, which collects stock footage of fetuses so all the other anti-choice fetus fetishist perverts can use the graphic imagery to say, "See, abortion is gross!" On Monday, he released to TIME the 13-minute video from which this supposed aborted fetus footage was taken. Cunningham insists that this is definitely a video of an abortion, but if you watch the video -- which, yes, is graphic (TRIGGER WARNING FOR GORY BLOODY VAGINA DELIVERING A TINY PREMATURE FETUS) -- it does not look like an abortion at all. It looks like a miscarriage:

We are not a doctor, or even a scientist, but anonymous lady person on the Twitters says she is, and she does a whole lot of doctorsplaining about how the video of an aborted fetus is in no way a video of an aborted fetus. And she is not the only doctor doing doctorsplaining about how this video of an abortion is in no way a video of an abortion. Tell us the reasons, Dr. Jen Gunter:

Here are all the issues with the video from start to finish:

  1. It is illegally and clandestinely shot. I feel very badly for the poor woman in question and wonder why Fiorina and our elected officials are not as outraged as I am about her violation and exploitation. I had second thoughts about watching it myself given the lack of consent from the woman, however, I felt if I could end the conversation about it faster by weighing in. Time magazine or Slate have links.
  2. The prep of the patient. The physician (I’m assuming) pours surgical prep/cleaner on the woman’s perineum. We don’t do that anymore for spontaneous deliveries or for abortions that involve induction of labor. This tells me this video is at least 15 years old or from another country.
  3. The delivery. It is a spontaneous delivery as the operator waits for the fetus to be expelled. This is what we do with a previable premature delivery. If this were shot mid way through a 2nd trimester abortion (meaning the Laminaria in the cervix, which are osmotic sticks that help the cervix dilate, had just been removed) it is highly unlikely the operator would have waited for a spontaneous expulsion.
  4. The cord is clamped on the fetal side. If this were an abortion it would just be cut. Really. No one ever does this with an abortion as it serves no purpose.
  5. Waiting for the placenta. The clamp is left on the placental end and at the end of the video the placenta still hasn’t delivered. If this were an abortion the placenta would be removed with suction immediately, no one would wait 11 minutes. Ever. Every abortion clinic has a suction machine.
  6. There is no proof this video is in a Planned Parenthood clinic never mind in the United States. This could easily be an operating room.

Dr. Jen Gunter, you may recall, is the same smarty-pants lady doctor who edumacated us about that time Dr. Ben Carson, who is very much against using fetal tissue for research because BABY PARTS, published a research paper that relied on, you guessed it, BABY PARTS. Dr. Gunter is smart and doctorly, and we trust her Hot Takes a whole heck of a lot more than we trust some anti-abortion activist sick perv collector of ladies bleeding from their wherevers, because that dude is one sick twisted fuck, plus also a liar, like pretty much most "pro-life" activists.

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Now let's wrap this up all neat and pretty and stick a bow on it, shall we? Carly Fiorina has claimed, over and over and OVER AND OVER again, that she watched, with her own eye sockets, a video of an aborted fetus, left to die on a table while a cruel heartless bastard Planned Parenthood doctor talks about how best to murder it to death and seize its brain. Not a single one of those things is true. There's no Planned Parenthood doctor plotting how to steal BRAINZ!!! There isn't even an abortion. And this still has nothing to do with Planned Parenthood.

True, Carly Fiorina ain't no medical ladyparts doctor, so we don't expect her to know all those details Dr. Jen Gunter is talking about. But. BUT! It has been explained and proven and demonstrated and explained again that Carly never saw that thing she says she saw because it doesn't exist. Even the "aborted fetus" video she wants to pretend is the thing she was talking about isn't an aborted fetus video. And every time Fiorina says, "Yes, I did TOO see that," she is lying. There's no other way to put it. She is -- say it with us now, kids -- A LYING LIAR. Tell your friends.

[TIME / Dr. Jen Gunter]

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Ever since Ruth Bader Ginsburg successfully underwent surgery for lung cancer, conservative sites and message boards have been trafficking in a ridiculous theory that she is actually dead and that there is some kind of Weekend at Bernie's-esque conspiracy to pretend she is still alive.

Now, one would think that her recent public appearance at a concert held in her honor would have put this to rest. Alas, it did not. Rather, the "researchers" (as they hilariously call themselves) determined that the concert was actually her funeral.

No. Really. That was a thing.

I admit that I gave this a lot more thought than I should have. Like, how did they think this would go? How long did they imagine this would go on for? Why would they risk having a full on funeral concert, open to the press? Wouldn't they just have not bothered to have a funeral at all? And what did these people think was going to happen when it was announced that she died for real? Or did they think that we were going to pretend that she is immortal and thus never announce her death? It's so confusing!

Being very up to date on the "RBG is secretly dead!" nonsense, I was very curious about which way the "anons" would go with this when they announced her return to work on Friday. They did not disappoint!

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Yesterday afternoon, 45-year-old Gary Martin of Aurora, Illinois was let go from his job at the Henry Pratt Company, a factory that manufactures water valves. In response, he took out a pistol with a laser scope and began shooting at random. He killed five people and injured six others who were just trying to make it through the day at the water valve factory, and then the police killed him.

His mother said he was "stressed out." He "seemed fine" according to the clerk at the Circle K where he bought his cigars that morning. His neighbor thought he was a nice guy. Some people were surprised, others were not.

This kind of thing used to be shocking, but it's a story we're used to now. It gets repeated at least once a month. It's just what happens now, and we can't do anything about it because we can't do anything about gun control. This is, the Right has decided, just the price we all have to pay so they can stockpile guns for funsies, and take sexy pictures of guns shoved in their pants. This is the blood that waters their special tree of liberty.

It's fucking exhausting. And stupid. We shouldn't have to live this way. No one should have to live this way. But we do. Why? Because some day some yahoos might want to overthrow the government, which is (of course) a completely legal thing to do, and their "right" to do that must be protected. So it's literally just never, ever going to stop.

Gary Martin, like most other mass shooters, also had a history of violence against women. In 1994, in Mississippi, he was convicted for stabbing one. He should not have been able to get a gun after that. I would like to know how and why he was able to get that pistol with the laser scope that he killed five people with yesterday afternoon. Maybe someone gave it to him. Maybe he bought it somehow. Maybe someone forgot to do a background check. Maybe he bought it from someone who didn't have to do a background check.

I am so goddamned tired of writing this article. I am out of things to say.

UPDATE:

Martin apparently bought the gun after successfully applying for an Illinois state Firearms ID. That license was revoked after he applied for a concealed carry license and was rejected due to his prior felony conviction in Mississippi, but no one bothered to see if he still had a gun.

Via USA Today:

"During the fingerprinting and background process it was discovered that he had a felony conviction for aggravated assault out of Mississippi," [Police Chief Kristen] Ziman said. "It should be noted that this conviction would not have shown up on a criminal background check conducted for an FOID card."

That seems like it might be a problem, no?

It has also since been revealed that Martin had a domestic battery arrest in 2008 in Aurora.

[Sun-Times]

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