Unlike All You Rich People, Michele Bachmann Deserves Her Federal Loan

One of the richly ironic centerpieces of sparkly welfare princess Michele Bachmann's garbled mind is a dogged conviction that recipients of federal monies are generally freeloading layabouts with not enough Protestant Work Ethic, angry white people code for "not enough melanin," even though Michele is also predictably a constant recipient of dirty, sexy taxpayer funds. Most recently, the Washington Post uncovered a $417,000 federally-subsidized loanfrom Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac to help purchase a luxury house . Michele's simple explanation for this is that "unlike all of you, who I’m sure pay cash for your homes, there are people out there like myself who actually have to go to a bank and get a mortgage." Michele sounds a little hurt. Sorry, it is not our fault if the rest of us sleep in giant chocolate palaces made of cocoa beans melted together over fires of burning dollar bills!

And don't forget, Bachmann has received thousands of dollars in farm subsidies, $137,000 in Medicaid payments to Marcus Bachmann's "Jesus band-aid for your gay heart" clinic, and now the home loan. It's almost like, oh, what would you call it, maybe the Holy Trinity of Hypocrisy?

ThinkProgress reports from the National Press Club:

MODERATOR: I got a lot of questions from people asking is it fair for you to call for dismantling federal programs you ultimately have been a beneficiary of? So in terms of guaranteeing home mortgages, do you think the federal government has a role in that…?

BACHMANN: Now unlike all of you, who I’m sure pay cash for your homes, there are people out there like myself who actually have to go to a bank and get a mortgage. And this is the problem. It's almost impossible to buy a home in this country today without the federal government being involved. Whether it is with the FHA, whether it’s with Fannie, whether it’s with Freddie, it’s almost impossible to buy a home…What's important is that we do dismantle a number of these federal programs that everyone agrees are clearly out of control.

We cannot make sense of that statement, so we will be returning to our chocolate mansion for a chocolate martini and a nap, thanks. [ ThinkProgress ]