Donate

Oh noes! The nation's top Law Enforcement Officer made a joke about weed! Doesn't he know thatpot kills and that it is NO LAUGHING MATTER? What is our once-great nation even coming to when the FBI Director can say something as horrible and shocking as the thing that was said in a hearing by James Comey on Monday! Explaining that the Bureau is having a hard time recruiting "white hat" hackers to fight cybercrime, Comey admitted that the FBI was "grappling with the question" of whether to loosen the restriction on hiring people who have ever smoked the Devil Weed, and even joked -- joked!!!!! -- that some of the prospective job candidates "want to smoke weed on the way to the interview." And yet, instead of being cool with it, and maybe even doing some lines (hah!) from the classic "Dave's not here" routine, Alabama Sen. Jeff Sessions had to go and be a total narc about it.


Do you understand that that could be interpreted as one more example of leadership in America dismissing the seriousness of marijuana use and that could undermine our ability to convince young people not to go down a dangerous path?"

Christ, what a buzzkill. Worse, instead of responding, as any sane adult would, "Way to harsh everyone's mellow, man," Comey tried to make nice, explaining that he was trying to be "both serious and funny." Damn, man, you know you can't pull that shit with a narc, man. That never works, man. You are SO BUSTED, Comey. He's gonna like, ground you and shit.

The Wire points out that Comey's comments arrive at a time when politicians continue to struggle with the important question of whether or not they ever inhaled, because somehow it is far better to bullshit about it like Bill Clinton did than to just acknowledge, "Yeah, I did, and you may have noticed that I'm the goddamn President of the United goddamned States, not giving handjobs for heroin in a bus station restroom, so stop pretending that a single toke will lead to everyone working the corners with Marlo and Wee Bay for chrissakes." Also, if you ever joke about a thing, you are clearly advocating that thing and may do it yourself, which is why so many junior high school boys grow up to get jobs unloading trucks full of dead babies with a pitchfork.

The latest example of a politician tying himself into knots over the question is Marco Rubio, who in addition to not knowing whether to believe in climate science, also refused to be the least bit honest about leafy herbs:

Here's the problem with that question in American politics: If you say that you did and suddenly there are people out there saying 'Well, it's not a big deal. Look at all these successful people who did it.' I don't want my kids to smoke marijuana. And I don't want other people's kids to smoke marijuana. I don't believe there's a responsible way to recreationally use marijuana."

Look, if we can't maintain a hypocritical stance about the dangers of marijuana, how can we possibly convince kids not to be deathly afraid of it?

[The Wire]

Follow Doktor Zoom on Twitter. He believes the Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers represent the pinnacle of Western artistic achievement, man.

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

$
Donate with CC

I'd mentioned this week that there's definitely probably a tape out there of Donald Trump referring to a black person as a "nigger," because Trump is a racist and that's sort of what they do. Sarah Huckabee Sanders won't even affirmatively deny such a tape exists, and she's from the "two plus two equals five" school of communications management. I also speculated that once the tape was released, Republican supporters of the president would flock to defend his vile words: "Hey, if you rearrange the letters in "nigger," you get "ginger" and who doesn't like redheads and the occasional Dark 'n' Stormy?"

The shameful display has already started and the supposed recording isn't even available for pre-order on iTunes. George State Senator Michael Williams stated in appearance on CNN's "New Day Saturday" that if Trump -- who's the president, by the way -- did say "nigger," it would certainly concern him as an "individual" but "not necessarily as a person that is running our country." So, uh, what the hell is that? This has been a standard argument from Republicans ever since Trump crawled his way out of the sewers of birtherism and onto a major political stage: "We think Trump is a terrible human being -- seriously, we have to shower immediately after meeting with him -- but we still think he's a suitable steward of the most powerful nation on the planet."

Normally, you'd think this would work the other way. You know, your brother-in-law is a nice enough guy. Your sister certainly could've done worse. You don't mind the slightly rambling sports-ball discussions with him at family gatherings. He's good for looking after the kids (as long as your sister is present or reachable by cell), but you'd never invest your hard-earned money into whatever half-assed business venture he's trying to get off the ground nor would you back his run for any serious political office.

I've long had issues with the "brilliant asshole" archetype in TV and movies. It's almost always a white male (because women and minorities must be perfect) whose emotional immaturity and overall jerkass behavior we're told to overlook because they're so goshdarned awesome. Do you want some PC "cuck" or do you want Dr. House to figure out that the MS symptoms you're suffering are really just because you ate a stale doughnut? Sherlock Holmes doesn't have time for your feelings or social niceties -- not while he's solving mysteries and being dreamy.

Trump, however, isn't "brilliant." He's just a guy who says "nigger." They're hardly a scarcity in the market. You don't even have to venture out to a klan rally to find one. You can order online -- same day social media delivery.

Williams argues that Trump didn't use the word "nigger" when he was in the "office of the president." It was just some youthful indiscretion when he was almost 60. I don't even know where he's going with this. Does he think Trump has changed? He routinely insults and belittles black people. He also calls black NFL players who peacefully protest "sons of bitches." Was that his way of weaning off calling us "niggers"? Has he been wearing a "nigger" patch on his arm to control his cravings for the racial epithet?

"He used the word in his personal life," Williams said. (It was actually in a workplace context -- SER) "Now if he were president and were to go on TV and use the n-word, I'd have a major problem with that."

media.giphy.com

It's heartening repulsive to see that Williams draws the line at Trump holding an official "nigger" press conference. I think once we reach that point, Trump will probably also reveal that his buddies on the Supreme Court discovered a typo in the Thirteenth Amendment and black folks' work-life balance will start to really suffer.

"I will always say using the n-word is wrong, and it's bad, and should never be accepted in our society. But just because (Trump) might have done it years ago, not as our president, doesn't mean we need to continue to berate him because he used it," GOP state Sen. Michael Williams, who is white, told CNN's Victor Blackwell on "New Day Saturday."

Blackwell, who is black, had to sit there and listen to this crap from a white elected official who is just 45 years old. You know, the word "nigger" doesn't even appear in the Dred Scott decision, for example, but that's not necessary for reasonable people to understand that it was racist as hell. We all know Trump is racist, but now Republicans can't even repudiate the worst demonstrations of his racial animus. The first black president hasn't even been out of office for two full years and already "nigger" is being redefined. What would once end a campaign in its tracks when Blackwell and I were growing up is now just an "oops, my bad."

Follow SER on Twitter

There's a new tip jar in town! Hit it below, to support the ad-free Wonkette experience, or click this link to make it monthly!

$
Donate with CC

Conservatives want to be oppressed. Or, rather, for everyone to think they are being oppressed and to then give them what they see as the impunity and moral upper hand that comes along with being an oppressed group of people. They want it very, very badly and think it is very unfair that all the people they have oppressed have this privilege and they do not. This morning, Trump took to Twitter to vow to protect them from the worst kind of oppression of all -- imaginary social media censorship!

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

  • Saturday, Aug 11th ....... Seattle, WA
    Discovery Park, 4-7pm
  • Sunday, Aug 12th ....... Bellingham, WA
    Sunnyland Park, 2-5pm
  • Sunday, Aug 19th ....... Spokane, WA
    Audubon Park, 2-5pm

Read More

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc