Veterans Day Is A Great Time To Buy Sarah Palin's New Book, Remember Reagan
It's never too late to thank him for his service
Merry Veteran's Day, patriots! And thanks a bunch to that one guy whose day it is. We owe you, buddy. Like Great American Hero and Historical Scholar Bristol Palin's ghostblogger says:
On Veteran’s Day, it’s hard to know what to say, other than “THANK YOU to the veterans” who have served so proudly.
Right? Sooooo right. But turns out one of the things you can say -- and should say -- is how much our current president sucks. For the troops! And then "go a little retro with Reagan," by watching this super extra gooey Cheez Whiz video of St. Ronald Reagan, PBUH, giving the only speech a president has ever given in honor of Veterans Day, which is why Bristol think he's the most recent "President who we can respect — in terms of the military, especially." (Suck on that, Presidents Bush!)
Sure, if you're a dirty hippie who hates America, and our troops, you might also consider adding some thoughtful words about how sorry we are for sending our troops off to fight stupid pointless wars with inadequate armor, for reasons that turned out to be "oops never mind." Or how we'll try to wrap that up so their great-great-great grandkids don't have to do a dozenteen tours in the Iraqistan too.
Or you could apologize for all the times our military-loving Senate Republican blocked benefits for gay veterans and their families, because ewww. Although now that the Supreme Court has officially gayed us up, we might as well forget the before times.
You could hunt down some homeless vets and tell 'em to stop being lazy homeless bums because "being a veteran is not a 'Get out of work free' card." If you find one with a dog, be sure to kick it in the face, for good measure.
You could tell the children that Veterans Day is canceled because the liberals hate America. And you cannot honor the sacrifice of those who served in our military unless you get to shoot all the guns too, because without that, what is even the point?
You could offer veterans cheap college education, but darn it, that would probably mean the end of liberty, and college is lame -- more welders, please! -- so that's out. But darn that President Obama, he hates the troops so much he's going to try to do it anyway.
Last but not least, once you're done shrugging your thanks in the general direction of that one veteran, on this, his special day, remember the most important message of all. Remind us, Bristol:
P.S. Speaking of Freedom, did you know my mom’s new book called “Sweet Freedom: A Devotional” is coming out next week?? Pre-order today!
Ah yes. Sarah Palin "wrote" a "book," by compiling her favorite "meditations based on guiding Biblical verses" from the internet, and binding them in leather. What better way to thank veterans for their service -- especially the Confederate kind -- than to pre-order Sarah new book, once you are done weeping tears of gratitude from watching Reagan's speech, for freedom?