Virginia Laws Against Anal, Oral Sex Go Down, And Now You Can Too!

Virginia is now really, truly for lovers. And not just the boring penis-in-vagina kind of lovers, but now you can put your naughty bits in whatever orifice you would like, even in the butt! Per WaPo:  

More than a decade after the Supreme Court declared such bans unconstitutional, Virginia lawmakers have taken a ban on oral and anal sex out of the state code.

Congrats, Virginia! Welcome to life in post-Puritan America. We look forward to cops high-fiving Larry Craig blowing Rick Santorum’s brains out in the men’s room of Dulles airport.

Since the Supreme Court had already ruled consensual oral and anal sex as Constitutional, this victory is mainly symbolic. However, it only happened because Terry McAuliffe is the state’s new governor. Had Ken ‘The Cooch” Cuccinelli been successful, he probably would have vetoed the bill:

[B]ecause of the way the code was written, the “crimes against nature” statute was still being used to prosecute other sex crimes. Former attorney general Ken Cuccinelli II attempted, unsuccessfully, to revive the law under such circumstances last year.

However, there are plenty of other laws against actual sex crimes. Cuccinelli was just being a giant dick by trying to use this law and keep it on the books, because knuckle-dragging narrow-minded bigots and assholes who make up the social conservative wing of the Republican Party really like these stupid laws on the books. In fact:

More than a dozen other states still have sodomy bans on the books. A lawmaker in Louisiana is pushing to undo that state’s ban but faces opposition from social conservative groups.

Perhaps the social conservatives and religious nutjobs should be a little cautious. Clearly none of us were there, but historical records indicate that Jesus hung out for three years with a bunch of dudes. We’re not saying definitively that there was a relationship with Peter’s peter that caused JC to call him ‘the Rock,’ but who knows that happens when you turn one too many jugs of water into wine?

As for the good people of Louisiana, we recommend that instead of a sit-in, you stage a ‘sit-on-my-face-in.’ We would like to see at least one protest poster saying ‘Mustache Freedom Ride For Freedom,’ also, too. If you need practice, we suggest a lovely trip to Virginia, where this weekend we encourage all Virginians to make full and extensive use of your newly granted liberties.

[ Washington Post ]

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