Vote For Marco Rubio, Or The Kitten Gets It
Attention, Wonkette and the rest of the world, Very Important Kitten news that is also news news!
Oh, that Marco Rubio. He's so young and hip and edgy and the perfect New American CenturyTM presidential candidate for all the kids these days who are worried about Cuba. And that old Bush-era threat of human-animal hybrids, apparently. But you don't have to give Marco Rubio's clever campaign team your email to watch the video, because we watched it for you and it's real dumb. He just makes some noises with his face about how an egg inside a lady's baby oven is actually a full-grown human being and will never turn into a cat, it's a science fact, MAN. Pro-life!
But, see, this is SO clever because of how people on the internet like cats, right? So if you say "human life" with a picture of a kitten, well, that's definitely going to appeal to the young folks, and make them all, "Rubio sure is the bee's knees! I'm gonna give him my AOL e-mail account address and ALL my shiny nickels!"
It's more evidence that Rubio really has his finger on the pulse of, um, the 1990s. And if you're even slightly confused by the very clear point Rubio is making about how you shouldn't do abortions because look at this adorable kitten, well, you must be an old. Or, you know, one of those typical abortion-loving women who hate cats.