Wait A Minute, Did You Know The Westboro Baptist Church Girls Are Super Pretty?
So today Buzzfeed is all "Blah blah blah these girls left the Westboro Baptist Church and are sort of vaguely sorry they hurt people's feelings when they screamed God hates fags a million times per second and also Muslins and Amerikkka." But did Buzzfeed miss its own scoop? Yes. (Well, also it missed this guy's scoop.) And that scoop is that Megan Phelps-Roper and her sister Grace are totally beautiful. See that video? That is them, just cold bein' stunning and pre-Raphaelite. Like, really pre-Raphaelite. Like, they should be washing their creamy breasts beside a sparkling stream, their shimmering hair unbound to their waists, because maidens. Like, AMERICA FUCK YEAH! Even our cults are full of the hottest chicks!
We wish Megan and Grace nothing but the best of course, because "Jesus" and "forgiveness." (Fun fact, if you are Catholic, you have to take back a piece of shit boyfriend for years if he is sorry every time. Fucking sacrament of reconciliation.) We are glad you are out of your cult, Megan and Grace. We are sorry your family hates you now. (We are not sorry.) We hope you can figure out how not to be weird about gay people and Muslims, but that is probably asking a bit much. At least your cult actually let you leave. Just imagine if you were Scientologists.
Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.