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Wannabe Prez McCotter Reveals Five Principles of Nonsense

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Unlovedreject Thaddeus McCotter is still, for some reason, trying to become president in 2012. He thought he was being super cool, revealing his plans at a “rock festival in Michigan,” also known as the Romeo Area Tea Party Freedom Fest, which is sort of like the exact opposite of a rock festival, happening out in the middle of nowhere. He admitted that his biggest strength as a presidential candidate is that no one has heard of him, which, well, he has a point there. But now maybe he is starting to feel left out of the unstoppable Orgy of Insanity that is the barf puddle of GOP candidates, because he is about to unleash his crazy on us at last!


Thaddeus was just in Iowa the other day looking at flood damage when he thought, “This would be a good time to begin my rapid spiral toward defeat.”

McCotter outlined five core principles to the audience:

- Liberty is from God, not the government.

- Our sovereignty is in our souls, not a senator or king.

- Security is from strength, not surrender.

- Prosperity is from the private sector, not the public sector.

- Truths are self-evident, not relative.

So, let’s see here. God came down to Earth in 1865 (with Moses, probably) and freed the slaves, and then every person in the “United States” became an actual individual country, because of the sovereignty in everyone’s soul, and then we secured the borders and kicked out the King, the end? Okay!

“As I like to tell my liberal friends, and I do have some … if you have any problems with these five principles, you can take it up with the founders,” McCotter said.

HA HA, that is a joke, because the founders are DEAD, which really works in McCotter’s favor because they probably would have no interest in defending these “core principles.” Thaddeus McCotter, for your own safety, please go away before Michele Bachmann gets a migraine from your words and orders her thugs to tickle you to death. [Des Moines Register]

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