Warmonger Stunts & Bold New Afghanistan Strategy​: More War!

Ever since President Joe Biden decided to follow through with the end of the war in Afghanistan, one already negotiated by the previous administration, we've had no shortage of armchair quarterbacks criticizing the decision. As the August 31 deadline approaches, it seems all the warhawks came to the Sunday shows to either request for forever war or criticize our exit strategy.

On CBS' "Face The Nation," political remora Senator Lindsey Graham from South Carolina decided to honor his last two long-term relationships with Donald Trump & the late John McCain. For McCain, Graham advocated for John's true love (foreign wars) when asked what he would have done differently than Biden.

GRAHAM: Well, number one, I wouldn't have withdrawn. I would have kept the counterterrorism forces on the ground. [...]

Graham channelled his war boner so much, it removed his ability to coherently spit out the soundbite he practiced all night.

GRAHAM: But let me tell you where I think we're at. This is a cata...catamalystic...a cat... just a fair beyond my ability to describe it.

Graham then decided to give some very late advice.

GRAHAM: [...] First thing we need to do is not recognize the Taliban as the legitimate government of Afghanistan.

That's some sage advice you maybe should have given Trump and Mike Pompeo when they made this deal with the Taliban, Lindsey.

But Graham saved his dumbest critique of Biden for doing what the majority of Americans wanted by calling for his impeachment again.

GRAHAM: [...] He deserves a lot of accountability for this. And I'm sure it will be coming.
O'KEEFE: Senator, one thing, one word I don't hear you using is one you were using before the attack on Thursday, and that is you called for his impeachment over Afghanistan. Do you still feel he should be impeached--
GRAHAM: Yeah, I think--
O'KEEFE: --over this?
GRAHAM: Yeah. Yeah, I think it's dereliction of duty [...]

After all the derelictions of EVERY presidential duty and the failure to impeach Trump, we really don't need to hear this pearl clutching from Lindsey Graham. But take this as warning: Republicans will make this their new Benghazi and impeach Biden, whether rightfully or wrongfully, if they get power again. On "Fox News Sunday,” Senate Minority Leader and turtle/human hybrid Mitch McConnell also advocated for forever war.

MCCONNELL: Yes, I think what's been lost in all of this, Chris, is why we went there in the first place. We went there to prevent the Taliban from having a regime that would allow terrorists to reconstitute themselves and hit us again here at home. It's been a total success.

I mean ... 20 years of training the Afghan military and they disintegrated instantly kinda proves it wasn't a "total success," Mitch.

But any worry Republicans might listen to McConnell went away when he broke from their narrative to say something true about COVID-19.

MCCONNELL: You know, I'm kind of reluctant to give governors advice about how they ought to carry out their responsibilities during the pandemic, but I do think it's important to remember that 90 percent of the people in the hospitals are unvaccinated. So the answer to this is get vaccinated. If we could keep saying that over and over and over again, I think that's the key to this. This is a crisis among unvaccinated Americans who seem to be reluctant to believe that vaccination works. It does.

I guess McConnell occasionally tells the truth like he would win a race with a hare: slow and steady.

On Fox News "MAGA POWER HOUR" "Sunday Morning Futures," host Maria Bartiromo proves she doesn't understand the constitution as she cites Senator Rick Scott from Florida to see if Kevin McCarthy can invoke the 25th Amendment (Spoiler: He can't):

Representative Madison Cawthorn from North Carolina tried the same 25th Amendment stunt:

Oh yeah, Madison? Well, we formally request you eat a bag of dicks, you rotted tree punching Hitler superfan.

We conclude today on CNN's "State Of The Union", where host Jake Tapper decided to invite a pair of bipartisan assclowns: Representatives Seth Moulton from Massachusetts and Peter Meijer from Michigan. Tapper decided to platform and give the pair the exact attention they wanted, without pushback, for their unsanctioned and unscheduled political stunt trip to Kabul. When Tapper asked Moulton the only vaguely critical question of the entire segment, Moulton showed what a joke he is.

TAPPER: You must know how furious so many of your colleagues are, as well as people in the Pentagon and the Biden administration, about the trip. They say you diverted resources needing to protect the evacuation just two days before the terrorist attack there. Congressman Moulton, how do you respond?

MOULTON: Lookit, those accusations are just not true. But, Jake, at the end of the day, I don't care what pundits in Washington are saying.[…]

Yeah, except they DID divert resources and 13 US service members were killed less than 24 hours after your stupid-ass attention-seeking trip. It's unbelievable to see the lack of understanding from Moulton and Meijer how their useless appearance in Kabul wasted time, money and attention from a critical war-ending evacuation EVEN after the loss the following day of the very people who kept them safe.

But maybe, based on his failed presidential runs and quixotic attempts to usurp Speaker Nancy Pelosi, Moulton was just born with a lack of self awareness to match his smug and punchable face.

Have a week.

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Michael Mora

Your friendly neighborhood Puerto Rican Political Freelance Writer for @wonkette. Pop Culture observer, Amateur Movie reviewer & Comics fan. Former Active Duty Marine. All opinions are mine only.


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