"Who is Pat Boone?" No, we are not misquoting Ayn Rand's pulp philosophy novel; we sincerely asked this whenthis very important National Enquirer story came down the chute because we are young and have been spared too much exposure to the crap culture of bygone years by loving parents and role models. (A Pat Boone primer for sheltered millenials will follow the "news hook" part of this post.)


For those of you who already know who is Pat Boone, here is what Pat Boone told the National Enquirer:

“We’re obviously being targeted,” said the 79-year-old singer, actor and writer. “This is still America, where people can still meet in their homes and talk freely. But conservatives like myself are being singled out by the Obama administration.

“Obama is the boss and they are doing things under his aegis. The administration is trying to intimidate people and ridicule anyone who does not agree with them.”

Singled out! Doing things! Aegis! Yep, you guessed it: IRS tyranny strikes again!

Pat Boone is a member of Friends of Abe, Gary Sinise's group for Hollywood conservatives. Naturally, they have "absolutely no political agenda," so it is simply baffling to Pat Boone that the IRS is seeking "detailed information about its meetings with politicians like Paul D. Ryan, Thaddeus McCotter and Herman Cain, among other matters," according to the NYT.

For some reason, the IRS seems to think that rich (we guess?) right-wing entertainers like Pat Boone and Kelsey Grammer should not be allowed to take a deduction on their taxes when they give money to their little right-wing politics club, which has "absolutely no political agenda," and frequently meets with conservative politicians. Maybe that's because, per NYT, "Friends of Abe is seeking a far more restrictive tax status, known as 501(c)(3), that would let donors claim a tax deduction, but strictly prohibits any form of partisan activity."

In other words we are not discussing the infamous 501(c)(4) designation that farcically lets "social welfare organizations" buy advertising that says "Barack Hussein Obama is a socialist Muslim who lied to get his Purple Hearts" while never having to disclose their donors. But at least those donations are "generally" not tax deductible. Pat Boone and presumably Gary Sinise and Vince Vaughn (so sad) are just furious that they can't get a tax write-off when they buy booze and cookies for their dumb club.

Now, as promised, your Pat Boone primer for sheltered millenials!

Pat Boone is a man whose "whole shtick," in Dok's words, "was doing whitebread pop covers of scary black music." Indeed, we were briefly confused when we found his Tutti Frutti on Spotify -- wasn't that Little Richard? It sure was, but did you know Little Richard was black? Thanks to Pat Boone, you don't need to. Then Lisa had a shit fit because we didn't know Pat Boone and ordered us to listen to his "heavy metal," which we did, and then we were medically dead, but then we listened to Little Richard and felt better, and now we know where Michael Bubles come from:

Wop bob a loo bop a lop bop bop a follow Alex on Twitter!

[National Enquirer / NYT / irs.gov / youtube]

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