Wonkette operative "Dan G." was checking washingtonpost.com just before midnight, like a sex weirdo, when he saw this mysterious message, possibly from a "computer hacker" or the aliens on their way to Earth to vaporize everyone but Newt Gingrich, which is an example of extreme space-alien humor. So we took a look at the Washington Post's prize-winning local news portal and saw ... just the Washington Post, possibly with a mild redesign. THIS IS HOW CRAFTY THE TERRORISTS ARE, with their tastefully dull web makeovers. They are probably offering some kind of loss-leader eight-for-one deal on sandwiches, too. WHY DOES IT HATE US?

But then we had another thought. This one -- like all thoughts about the awfulness of the Washington Post -- was about Richard Cohen. Didn't Richard Cohen have some involvement in another recent "WaPo" web debacle? Yes, yes he did. At least according to our unreliable version of events: