Washington Republican Asks Teens How Much Dick They're Getting, Totally Normal
She thought her question was maybe "too motherly."
Washington state Rep. Mary Dye sounds just like our mommy, and your mommy, and all of U.S. America's mommy. She makes apple pie and gives good advice and leans in real close and says things like, "HEY CHAMP. GETTIN' BONED ON THE REGULAR?" Oh mommy, stop, you're embarrassing us!
That's the explanation the Republican gave for why, when some kids came in for a special Planned Parenthood Teen Lobbying Day at the capitol in Olympia, she asked them if they're getting a bunch of "P" in their V-holes, or their A-holes, or whatever other holes KIDS THESE DAYS are doing:
Walking into a meeting Monday morning with state Rep. Mary Dye, a group of Eastern Washington high-school students didn’t expect to be asked about their virginity.
But visiting as part of Planned Parenthood’s annual Teen Lobbying Day, the group of about a half-dozen got that question from Dye, a Republican lawmaker from Pomeroy, Garfield County. [...]
Dye asked if the students were virgins and suggested one was not, according to the students and Rachel Todd, a Planned Parenthood worker accompanying the kids.
We want to know more about the student she branded for a whore, quite honestly, but the Seattle Times didn't do its journalism job and ask hard-hitting questions like, "Why did that politician call you a dick-gobbler in front of your friends?"
[contextly_sidebar id="fGel58sti4Vk9K9NefGvzXiC2rkuv8xZ"]Except oh LOL wait, we think maybe it was because these kids were lobbying for the Planned Parenthood Delicatessen For Free Range Gluten-Free Baby Part Skewers, and thus they're probably all Slutty McSexdoers who have abortions all the time. If they had been lobbying AGAINST Planned Parenthood, and just wanted to show Rep. Dye videos of Carly Fiorina talking about Planned Parenthood home movies of WRITHING BABY PARTS (that don't exist), then she would have known they were virginal Christian abstinence-doers like Bristol Palin, and she wouldn't have had to say such fucked up things.
As we alluded to above, Rep. Dye issued a dick-pology saying she's sorry/not sorry for acting TOO MUCH LIKE MOMMY, instead of acting like an elected official:
“Following a conversation they initiated on birth control for teenagers, I talked about the empowerment of women and making good choices — opinions shaped by my mother and being a mother of three daughters,” she wrote.
“In hindsight, a few of the thoughts I shared, while well-intended, may have come across as more motherly than what they would expect from their state representative."
Asking strangers' children if they've gotten their sex holes stuffed lately is ... not how mommying works? And if that really is how Rep. Dye does Mommy Time, whew boy, we feel sorry for her kids.
[Seattle Times viaJezebel]
Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.
Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.