Watch Out, Florida: 'Satirist' Hopes To Win Allen West's Former District
Voters in Florida's 18th Congressional District face a difficult decision in August -- should they try to find a viable Republican candidate to face Patrick Murphy, who defeated Allen West in 2012, or should they try this guy: Ilya Katz, a self-described "political refugee of the Soviet Union" who claims to have spent "ten years in Siberian hard labor concentration camp" for his cutting satires against Leonid Brezhnev. And who knows, maybe he did! His bio page also says that after escaping the USSR for Chicago, he worked as a "full time knight watchman and part time professor at Loyola University, Columbia College and Central YMCA College," where he "lectured on social and political topics concerning socialism and a way to endure in a totalitarism society." We haven't done any digging on those claims, but standing on top of a planter and shouting at passing students does count as "lecturing," doesn't it?
He is not worried about his lack of formal credentials, because as he points out, "Noah's Ark was built by an amateur, the Titanic was built by professionals." He also ran against Debbie Wasserman-Schultz in 2012, and managed to get 3124 votes. He is, in short, a "character," and so it should go without saying that he wins Wonkette's endorsement.
There is just entirely too much wonderfulness to be found on his website -- it's almost as if Dr. Bronner turned to the Dark Side and launched a congressional campaign. And the weirdness only starts with the political cartoons. What, for instance, are these even supposed to mean?
A communist duck lives in the White House -- and while it speaks of Humane rights, it is menacingly flapping its wings of prosperity and transparency! Let THAT be a lesson to all who see it! Also, while the Constitution gives you rights, the government established by that Constitution gives you the right to have no rights, and that is a criminal law which nails the common man's hands to a table and his long froglike tongue to the ceiling (possibly with a transparent duck).
But there's so much more -- there's a list of the many "Recent Radio Shows Featuring Interviews with Ilya Katz" (we are guessing that he called their listener line, but who knows), and a copy of a form letter from Marco Rubio's office, thanking Katz for contributing a copy of his book, Debt Wacky Shmutz and SOSialism: Kingdom or Serfdom, noting that it will be added to Rubio's
"library in my Senate office of books that concerned citizens have sent me. This library is open to my staff as well so that they can learn more about important issues facing our nation."
Sadly, the book is not available on Amazon, or we would provide a linky.
Don't miss his bio, either, because Ilya Katz has some very real accomplishments to inform you of:
I am the only person in the whole world who was capable of publishing ten books in one year.* World famous writers published no more than a few hundred political barbs, I have created close to 5,000 political conservative jokes. At 77 years old, Ron Paul finished his political career, at 77 I am capable of starting my life in politics. If I will not make it in Congress, at least maybe I will make it into the Guiness Book of World Records.
*BARBARA CARTLAND LIBEL.
We're pretty sure you can find all 5000 of those hilarious political jokes on his website, along with a whole bunch of other cartoons. You may even be able to make sense of a few of them. He even noticed that Barack Obama is both a brown fella and a cartoon image of Japan in WWII:
It sure is good to see that Mr. Katz survived a decade in the Gulag (maybe) with his sense of humor intact. We bet we can learn a lot about how to do satire from his candidacy. Or from The National Report. Six of one, robot death march taco of another.
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Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.