Watergate Hotel Sets Self On Fire, Not That We Should Read Anything Into That

Now there's something you don't see every day, Edgar.

So on top of everything else today, the Watergate complex caught fire. On the 13th floor, if you like superstition. Just let that sink in, like pee in a Moscow Ritz-Carlton mattress, as it were.

The Washington, D.C., Fire and Emergency Medical Services Department said just after 2 p.m. that crews had extinguished the fire and were trying to eliminate smoke from several floors in the complex.

The department said no injuries had been reported.

The cause of the fire is still under investigation, but fire marshals have not ruled out the possibility the conflagration resulted from excessive friction, such as might be generated in a veritable orgy of rat-fucking.

And while the alleged video from Donald Trump's 2013 WaterSportsGate has yet to surface (Penthouse is offering a million bucks to any enterprising spies out there), there is at least video of the fire at the Watergate, from Patrick Garrigan, the Senior Director of Business Development at The Atlantic, who took the video from his very own nearby building:

Note to the screenwriters for the "January 11" episode of this 2017 program: You're laying it on a little thick, aren't you? Nobody's going to believe this; maybe dial it back a bit? G. Gordon Liddy is complaining this is a tad over the top.

In unrelated news, a flowerpot with a red flag threw itself off Bob Woodward's balcony, plummeting to the street below. Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why its final thoughts were "Oh no, not again," we would know a lot more about the nature of the Universe than we do now.

All we need now is a flash mob of people wearing trench coats converging on DC-area parking garages.

[The Hill / Patrick Garrigan on Twitter]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc